Live Free or Change Your Slogan

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
61

Just brainstorming:

California - If you think we’re odd, you should see the ones who we didn’t elect governor.

California, the golden state. Okay, okay, so it’s gold plate a couple of microns thick.

California, better than anywhere else. Which is no compliment to anywhere else.

California - Our property values are more outrageous than yours. Neener, neener.

California, the tolerant state - we’ll even let people who drink merlot vote.

California, the world’s _th largest economy. Be very afraid.

California - where else is the nation going to get politicians with Screen Actor’s Guild cards?

62

Illinois: At least it’s not Indiana

Illinois: Welcome to Chicago, now go home.

Illinois: Abe Lincoln was here.

Illinois: The land of two seasons; winter, and construction.

Illinois: Like Nebraska, except with Black people.

Texas: Five Electric Chairs, no waiting.

Texas: We have nukes.

Texas: Ready, Aim, Fire: Now drink.

Wisconsin: Hold my beer and watch this.

Wisconsin: Say Cheese. On everything.

Wisconsin: Deers, Beers and Queers.

California: Proudly brought to by Terminator 6, the Resurrection.

California: Pandering to the lowest common demoninator since 1849.

California: Real palm trees, fake boobs.

California: Even our mountains are plastic.

Maine: It is TOO English.

Maine: Lobster, at McDonalds.

Michigan: It’s Cold.

Michigan: But not as cold as Minnesota.

63

Actually, I thought “New Hampshire: Now Shaker-Free!” was great (even if it would confuse 95% of the people who saw it).

I figure they ought to consider:

“New Hampshire: Emblem free since 2003!”
“New Hampshire: Have you seen my old man?”

The motto is nothing great (it was picked in 1835–two years before statehood and long before tourism).

However, you should note that there is no place in Michigan (aside from the islands) that is not on a peninsula. Below the Upper Peninsula (or “under the bridge” as the Yoopers call it) is the Lower Peninsula.
Even the peninsulas have peninsulas, notably the Keweenaw and Garden peninsulas and the Thumb and Little Finger.

64

Heh. We were on the way to see the grandparents in Penna one time. Now, my father can barely stand them and he and Mom has left Penna as soon as they could. So he sees that slogan on a license plate and says, in a rare bit of levity during his dour responsibility of the visit, “With friends like Pennsylvania, who needs enemies?”

65

:smiley:

66

Ontario: We’re Only One of Ten Provinces, But We Think We’re The Only One That Matters.

:d & r:

:smiley:

67

Colorado: We hate Texans, too!

Colorado: Free snowboard with purchase of your new Subaru

Colorado: A little smog never hurt anyone

Colorado: Our beer is made downstream from tailings piles!

Colorado: Lynx-hunting season coming soon!

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Alberta: Blue Province Is Canadian For Red State.

Nova Scotia: Canada’s Second-Smallest Province is As Big As Austria.
Nova Scotia: No, This Is The Other Sidney.

Nunavut: How The Fuck Did You Bring A Car Up Here?

Saskatchewan: Technically, We’re Not Rectangular

BC: We Once Had A Premier Called Amor de Cosmos. Extrapolate From There.

69

What with the state-run liquor stores and extortionate tolls for people going from MA to ME,

New Hampshire: $5 cover and a two-drink minimum.

70

Years ago, comedian Rich Hall held up a New Hampshire license plate, pointed out the “Live Free or Die” motto, and wondered how that affected the poor convicts who MADE those plates all day.

71

Pennsylvania: The state with its hand in your wallet!
Pennsylvania: Philadelphia is not the capital!
Pennsylvania: Look out for road apples.
Pennsylvania: We’re more cow-intensive than most states.

Robin

72

Ohio’s official state motto is “With God, all things are possible.” There was a big stink a few years ago when it was emblazoned near the state capitol. Separation of church and state, and all that, but it’s still there.

The touristy mottos we’ve used (and which have appeared on license plates) include “The Buckeye State,” “The Heart of It All,” and “Birthplace of Aviation.”

But I might suggest:

“Ohio: 49% of us didn’t vote for Bush.”

“Ohio: We are too the North Coast.”

“Ohio: Still one of the easiest states to spell.”

“Ohio: Proud to be pandered to by presidential candidates for ____ years.”

“Ohio: Not all of our presidents were boring.”

“Ohio: Not nearly as bland as Indiana.”

“Ohio: Our Governor is the least popular in the country!”

“Ohio: Home of the most pathetic state Democratic Party anywhere.”

“Ohio: Our state troopers will happily ticket you.”

“Ohio: Land of flat mountains.”

“Ohio: Now with 14% fewer hicks!”

“Ohio: Any state that boasts both Don King and John Glenn can’t be all bad.”

“Ohio: Mike Tyson doesn’t live here anymore. Thank God.”

“Ohio: Proud to be demographically average in virtually every way.”

“Ohio: At least we’re not Kentucky.”

“Ohio: Still in the Eastern Time Zone.”

73

Although that motto was taken from the Bible’s Book of Matthew, its official use is not a relic of colonial or frontier times. The phrase was adopted in 1959, over ninety years after Imperium in Imperio (“An Empire Within an Empire”) had been approved by the Legislature, only to be quickly abandoned.

List of state mottos

List of state slogans – not complete, as I remember these additional phrases (not nicknames) on license plates:

Alaska – “North to the Future”
Indiana – “Wander Indiana”
North Carolina – “First in Freedom”, later “First in Flight” (cite)
Oklahoma – “Oklahoma is OK”