My wife recently got a tattoo on her wrist and while the ink appears to be bound to her skin she did not bleed at all. Not a single drop. She laughed it off but I’ve never, ever seen a tattoo not bleed. I then tried to think of times I’d seen her injured in the past and they were all from over a decade ago.
I’m growing suspicious but I think I’ve ruled out zombie and vampire as her flesh remains warm. Her other obvious superpower is supernaturally locating objects in places I’ve just looked. She also denies this ability. I suspect she may be hiding her other powers from me.
Has my wife developed superpowers or been replaced by a (seemingly) non hostile alien or mutant? What should I do?
Hmmm? I think you should take her to a comic book store. Just be non-chalant about it and keep your eyes peeled to see if she’s Marvel or DC.
Yep, it matters.
So, your wife has a new tattoo that doesn’t bleed, or what appears to be a tattoo. Transfer perhaps?
And you search for things that aren’t there when you look but they miraculously appear when she looks?
You begin to exhibit paranoid ideation - my wife has super powers/is an alien.
I assume when you mention your feelings she laughs them off or changes the subject. “Why are you so sensitive?” “You are imagining things, it isn’t like that.”
Do you often feel isolated? Do you find it hard to trust your own judgement? Do you worry that you no longer feel happy like you used to? Are you afraid of “speaking up” , so you stay silent instead?
The lack of blood is annoying, as its colour might have been an obvious clue. Locating objects in places you just looked could also be down to those objects being cloaked, so please don’t listen to those weirdos mentioning witchcraft or superpowers. Occam’s Razor says she is Romulan.
Is everything else normal? Has the sex between you remained the same or are you noticing unexplained tentacles where they shouldn’t be ( like in ‘Galaxy Quest’ )?
Make yourself useful! Be her Mission Control, working from your lair taking care of all of the unglamorous yet necessary parts of fighting crime while she’s out there heroically, er, not bleeding on people.
No, no, no. You’ll just end up as her ‘Alfred’, a butler.
I say get in the game. Even Robin had to learn trapeze art.
What are your major talents? Expand on them.
Say you’re a flyfisher: Flyguy
Or you’re into horticultural pursuits: Bonsai Boy
You get the drift. Let us know how it goes.
We’ll need pix, of course.
I like this idea. I’ve been accused of having a very mild case of vampirism as I’m slightly allergic to the sun (late onset vitiligo) and look 10-15 years younger than I am. My powers would be running far and…troubleshooting computers? I think I need to work on my sidekick game.
