Lobsang, you miserable, judgmental lump of shit

The BBQ Pit
1

In this thread, folks were trying to discuss what childfree life is really like. It was a nice, quiet discussion about the joys of not being a parent, dispelling the myth that childlessness makes your life emotionally barren.

Until Lobsang came along. He just couldn’t resist dropping his pants and taking a big ole dump on our nice carpet. (You think we could have a carpet that nice with kids in the house? No way, Jose.)

He got called on it, blustered a bit, then backed down and apologized. His apology is accepted, and all seems to be right with our childfree world. Alas, no.

One person makes a hyperbolic comment stemming from parents who gripe about how much trouble their kids are, and how expensive, etc. , then demand to know why you don’t want any. So our good buddy Lobsang just can’t wait to rip his pants down and have at the rug again.

Now, apparently, we’re not only selfish, thoughtless asshats who live only for ourselves and are wasting our lives by not fulfilling our civic duty of reproduction, we have no regard for human life at all! Man, I really wish I’d realized that before! All that time I wasted not killing people. Oh, and donating money to the homeless? What the fuck was I thinking?

And my poor husband. All that time he’s wasted trying to heal the sick. If he’d had any real regard for human life he’d have spent that time changing diapers and making bottles. Heartless bastard.

Really, what kind of sanctimonious, judgemental asshat do you have to be to make that sort of accusation? Jesus fucking Christ. Oh, wait, he didn’t have kids, so he was clearly a selfish bastard with no regard for human life either.

2

Yeah. I was waiting for this pitting since seeing that thread. What an immature opinion. It kind of sounded like he’d been brainwashed. Make progeny is good. Must breed now. I don’t want to be an Alpha, they work too hard. And so on. Anyway, nothing like an irate pet-lover to put some crazy teenage limey in his place. Word.

3

Gotta say I’m happy to see this thread. I was lurking along in the original thread, and got very tired very quickly of the sudden turn it took for the worse. I have no business posting in the “Your Gay Lifestyle. What’s it like, really?” thread, as I am straight. Lobsang had no business posting in the childfree thread, for he is apparently (ha! Get it? A “parent” ly. I kill me) pro-spitting-out-as-many-kids-as-possible-as-long-as-the-pipes-still-work. Just my $.02

4

Well, just so you know, your comment could have been phrased a lot better. I understand the sentiment, and have often felt the urge to tell griping parents that they have only themselves to blame, but there were much better ways to have expressed yourself.

5

uh, what exactly did Lobsang say that qualified as a “big ole dump on your nice carpet”? Was only your opinion allowed in this “nice, quiet discussion” as you describe it? Are you really saying he can’t post his humble opinion in IMHO just because you don’t like it?

Frankly, I don’t think Lobsang’s comments required apologies. He certainly wasn’t rude, and he certainly wasn’t off-topic. And yet he did extend an apology. And you’re still angry enough to pit him. What gives? Are you really that emotionally attached to the subject to deem an opposing POV as a "sanctimonious, judgemental asshat "?

6

Lobsang and others are entitled to their opinion. But I see going into a thread specifically to say that the people participating in it are selfish as pretty rude. It would be like going into the gay lifestyle thread and saying that you think homosexuality is immoral. Your opinion? Sure. Will people think you’re an asshole for bringing up your opinion in that particular situation? Most definitely.

7

Oh dear. My second personal pit thread.
I apologise for attacking the people who do not wish to have children in that thread. I feel strongly about the value of having children and I over-reacted.

However I do not apologise to the feelings I had for some posters who talked about children as if they are sub-human, and one person for talking about the human race as if it was a disease.

Again - I am sorry to those who wanted to discuss life without children. It was wrong of me to hijack the thread like that

8

:confused:

Perhaps this, Lobsang’s FIRST frikkin’ post in the thread?:

**Perhaps not out of line in a DEBATE about leading a childfree lifestyle, but completely inappropriate in the thread in question. Any reasonable person reading the OP would have known what it was about: what a childfree existence is like.

9

And Now I feel I must respond to specific points in the OP…

As I have already pointed out - the comment about lack of regard for human life was directed at the few who seemed to regard children as mere pests. And it was also a sarcastic way of responding to j_kat_251’s thoughtless post.

CrazyOldLady I forgive you for jumping to conclusions about things I said (such as assuming I think all childfree people are have disregard for the human race :eek:, and for calling me a judgemental lump of shit. I may be judgemental, and I may be a lump of shit, but… what was that third thing you called me? )

10

Lobsang, I for one appreciate your apology. Thank you.

11

The thread did not solicit opinions on the merits of childlessness. The thread asks people who were married and childless by choice what their life was like. He sure as fuck did hijack that thread and he was certainly off topic. The fact that he did just that is rude regardless of the words he used. If he didn’t like the topic he should have started his own fucking Pit thread like he said he was going to do before he posted another ten times in the thread.

Christ, it’s bad enough that we have to deal with screaming kids ruining our meals out and making our airplane trips more miserble, now they have to ruin our threads too. :stuck_out_tongue:

Haj

12

And ain’t irony a funny thing, but I’m backing you 100% in this one Lobsang. I concur wholeheartedly with your sentiments in the first thread, and fail to see the reason for your pitting here.

13

Narrad wrote

First off, that’s almost out of context.
It was prefaced with a note that he did not enjoy children being referred to as “burdens” or “little snot-nosed yard apes” as had been assessed by others. Also, he posted immediately after a quote of what he meant by selfish, and frankly it’s not an invalid point:

It is my HO that before Lobsang posted, there were plenty of far more inflammatory statements to the other side of things. Enough so that Lobsang’s comment looks pretty inoccuous to me.

That said, I don’t think his tone was as polite as it should have been, and his core stance (that not wanting to have kids is selfish) is not in line with my own. But calling someone a " miserable, judgmental lump of shit" because they’ve pointed out that your actions appear selfish strikes me as out of line.

14

hajario wrote

Those two sentences mean basically the same thing. The thread did solicit opinions on the merits of childfreeness, to modify your term per Friend Goo’s definition.

And if you’re so strung out about people taking a strong stance on one side of the issue, then surely you’re upset about the people who previously were far more aggressive on the other side of things. Or are you?

Most importantly, since when did you get the right to decide who’s humble opinion is allowed to be posted on a given subject in IMHO?

If someone posted an IMHO a question “share your opinion of how glad you were you had an abortion”, or “share your opinion about how much you love guns” (to take two extreme examples), don’t be surprised to discover there’s another side of things, and especially if members of the initial pro-side used insulting terms and came across as well, selfish.

15

I still think that the idea that everyone owes the world a litter of kids ridiculous; there are millions of kids who have no homes, and no parents, and no one to love them, and I don’t see the Mini-Me Proponents lining up to take them home.

Nope. It’s gotta be your kid. Your little pile of genes, recreated. Because somehow it’s so important to keep you around that the world is a lesser place without more of you for later.

But this isn’t selfish at all. This is pure, altruistic concern for the future of the world. Which would be a dark and dreary place unless everyone currently alive ensures that their genes live on.

Get real!

Lobsang butted into a peaceful thread about the joys of childfree living; there’ve been plenty of threads about kids, and I don’t recall anyone without kids popping in to say, “HEY, YOU WOULDN’T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT THAT LITTLE BUGGER IF YOU’D NEVER HAD HIM! WHY DIDN’T YOU JUST USE A RUBBER? I DON’T HAVE ANY KIDS AND MY LIFE RULES!”

I’ve got no beef with people with kids, or with kids themselves. But if anyone thinks I owe the world a kid or I’m a selfish immature freak, they’re fucking crazy.

Sometimes the most immature and selfish thing you could ever do is have a kid. Take a look around.

16

Me too. I’m right behind you.

17

I, for one, do feel that children are sub-human.

You may, however, launch into whatever tirade you feel against me.

18

The decision to have children, or not have children is a very personal thing. To generalize, and call people who choose not to do so “selfish” is over the top.

Tell me, (those of you who share Lobsang’s opinion) did you consider that some of the people who have decided not to have children were actually being considerate to their non-existent progeny?

I have many health problems, which are genitic. Very bad eyesight, rheumathoid arthritis, seizure disorder, and manic depression to name a few. I have a family history of more than one kind of cancer, diabetes, heart problems etc. I choose not to have children with my second husband because of these things.

Even if the people have chosen for more “selfish” reasons not to have children, that is their choice not yours. Who are you to say that not wanting to give of your emotional stores constantly is “selfish”? In some cases, it’s that these people realize their limits, and know what they want to accomplish, and are being responsible so they can do those things.

I still do not consider it a “selfish” thing to not want to pass on your genetic material. If the world did not have people who had no children of their own, a lot less things would get done. There are valuable roles that are filled by people who have lots of free time due to the fact they do not have children.

Both sets of opinions have equal weight, and so the decision to follow, or not follow a lifestyle is a matter of personal preference. It is pretty narrow minded to point the finger and call a person “selfish” for a personal decision.

I humbly submit that people choose to “politely disagree” on this matter. You stay out of threads discussing childfree lifestyles, or at least don’t do what happened yesterday. We’ll do the same for threads discussing the joys of parenting. Is this a satisfactory treaty?

All this said, Lobsang from what I have seen in my short time on the boards you are generally a polite, respectful person. I’m willing to chalk your outbursts up to a bad day, and accept your apology. Just keep in mind that our feelings and opinions have weight and deserve respect too, if only because they come from another human.

I’ll add, that I don’t generally call children names, however I can understand the frustrations expressed by recent posters concerning juvenile delinquents. There seems to be an alarming rise in juvenile delinquency in recent years. I think that the OP in the linked thread was forgetting themselves due to overexposure to the deliquent kind of child and generalizing.

19

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I’m not really all that upset. I just didn’t like the fact that the thread turned inappropriately into a debate. I’m took most exception to Lobsang because he started it. I would, however, be equally irritated if some one started an IMHO thread about the joys of parenthood and someone hijacked it by saying that they hated kids and went on to rant about overpopulation.

I don’t have that right. I can certainly have an opinion though, can’t I?

I would expect them to take it to the Pit, not to hijack the IMHO thread.

I will agree with you and Lobsang on one count. The insulting language in the original OP was certainly not necessary. I didn’t and wouldn’t use terms like that.

Haj

20

I love kids…

They taste like chicken! :slight_smile: