It has been two weeks since Naomi’s memorial service. For those who don’t know Naomi was 6 when she lost her 3-½ year battle with cancer. She died at home being held by her mother and I.
I went back to work the week after the service. The where I teach are juvenile offenders from around the state. Each class listened quietly as I told them about my daughter’s battle, last hours and passing. I got notes of sympathy from the boys. Journal entries were letters to my wife and I expressing sorrow and offering encouragement.
At home, we had a secret Santa knock on our door for twelve nights in a row delivering gifts. Meals were brought to us by friends and church members. Acknowledgments from the Ronald McDonald house continue to pour in. Through it all, it is still not easy.
A letter arrived saying Naomi had won a free bicycle. I had to call and explain why we couldn’t accept it. At Costco, I forgot the baby in the shopping cart at the register as I walked away. It was funny, but it happened because I always feel I’m missing someone anyway. The feeling never leaves so I ignored it and almost got the 1-year-old made a sale item.
Christmas morning was nice. I really thought I could sense Naomi being there. But I didn’t hear her laughter of get a hug from her. She helped pick out the belt my wife got me.
Our friends on Maui have a four-year-old who would not remember meeting Naomi. She insisted her daddy buy a balloon to send up to heaven for Naomi. They went to the beach and let it go with notes attached to it.
In February Naomi would have turned 7. My wife and I will scatter the ashes in the ocean off Maui where Naomi was born. That will be a final goodbye in ways.
I will always remember that through the week following Naomi’s death, I received and outpouring of support from the SDMB. I thought I owed it to you all to let you know what was going on with us. It will take a long time, but the slow process of healing has begun. You were all a part of it.
I am so sorry for your loss. I cannot imagine. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
You and your family continue to receive my prayers.
Regards,
Shodan
Roadwalker, please accept my condolences for your loss. I was wondering, however, wasn’t there a discovery about Naomi’s medicine that was helping her at one time? Did anything ever come of that to maybe help other children?
Our thoughts and best wishes are still with the Roadwalker family.
I’m sure I’m not the only Doper who would like to hear how Mrs Roadwalker’s pregnancy is progressing, when you have some time and feel up to posting.
Take care, and may the New Year bring you peace and joy.
Merryl
My sincerest condolences.
I pray that you and your family find the strength you need.
Thank you for updating us. I wish you strength as you heal.
To lose someone that close to your heart is hard to deal with. Time makes the pain ease, but it never completely goes away. You just learn every day to deal with it another day. My prayers and warm wishes to you and your family. Don’t try to be too brave.
Roadwalker, you & your family have been in my thoughts, and will continue to be. Thanks for letting us know how you’re doing.
I can see how much you miss Naomi. It must hurt every minute of every day.
Thank you so much for keeping in touch with us here at the SDMB. Hope to hear from you again soon.
My thoughts and best wishes to Roadwalker and family.
Hey Roadwalker, thanks for giving us a little update on your life. The holidays must be very hard on you right now.
There’s not a lot to say, is there - most of us can’t begin to imagine your loss. I hope you and your family find strength in each other as the healing process continues.
I like the idea of scattering Naomi’s ashes off the shore of the island she was born on. That’s beautiful, man.
Roadwalker, I am amazed and greatly inspired by you and your family’s strength. Reading about your experiences has taken me through every emotion possible. All of you are in my thoughts and prayers.
“Love lives on, beyond goodbye…my love for you will NEVER die! Love lives on…long after we’re gone, and so…our love lives on.”
I am so sorry that Naomi no longer graces your physical life with her love. But I know that HER LOVE LIVES ON, as does YOUR love for HER.
It isn’t much, it definitely isn’t enough. But it is all we have after we lose someone we love.
My heart continues to hold you, and my prayers continue with you.
My Love,
Cheri
Roadwalker, I am so glad that you and your family are doing as well as you are. I think of you often. Since my daughters (4 & 5) looked through your online photo album with me, they’ve spoken of her many times and for some reason feel as though they knew her too - maybe because they saw how much reading your story affected me, and I was able to piece little bits of Naomi’s story together for them.
Please know that though this is “just a message board” you have friends and people who feel they truly know you here. There’s always someone up here if you want to talk. And though it’s been said ad nauseum, please email me if I can be of the slightest help or support to you.
In sincere sympathy and hope,
Erin
Thanks for letting us know how you and your family are getting along, Roadwalker. The road you’re walking at the moment is a particularly hard one.
When members of my family died it helped to know people who cared were “bearing witness”, for lack of a better phrase. None of us could change what had happened but their comfort and support helped make it bearable until time worked its healing.
A lot of people here have been holding you and your family in their thoughts, wishing you peace and comfort.
All the best.
Veb
I have thought of you and your family often these last couple of weeks. I am touched by your grace and dignity throughout it all.
I think you are going to be OK.
Thinking good thoughts your way…
At the very least, they are working on making the medicine much easier for children by creating a liquid form. At best, there is a possibility that this new form will absorb better into the body and be more effictive.
This al comes from Naomi not being able to swallow these big pills. We boiled them in pediasure to help her take them. The chemists and lab workers were intrigued and began working on their own version of what we did.
It is nice to know that at least we may create an easier way to take the pills for kids.
That’s not just “nice”, Roadwalker, that’s freakin’ amazing. I can’t come up with another person who only lived 6 years, and made such an impact on the world - together with her inventive parents. And YES, if it helps a few hundred kids take their medicine more easily, then it’s a great help. It’s way beyond the impact of the average human being, who may live to be 85 and never really matter in the greater scheme of things. Not in this way, anyway.
You guys rock.