Long post about the long night

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

This is pretty pointless, but I want to get it off my chest…

I get home from work tonight about 9:30, and my older brother is standing outside. He’s ghostly pale. I took one look at him, “what happened?”
Him: “I wrecked Dad’s car”
Me: “really?”
H: “Yeah”
M: “You’re not kidding?”
H: “Yeah”

My dad had a brand new Infinity G 35. It was his baby. He loves his cars, and no one touches them. Ever. He gets worried if we get too close to it while it’s parked in the garage. Very protective of this car.

And apparently, while my dad was at a hockey game, my brother borrowed the car for a joyride. And was going at least 60mph when he missed a turn and went through a barrier and skidded 50+ feet in the dirt. The front wheels now point in opposite directions, and the side’s all ripped up. He got a friend to pick him up, and now he appears to be in shock.

Well, I immediatly think that he left the scene of an accident, and that’s a crime. So, I sit my brother down, figure out where the accident happened, call the police, and than we go back to the accident to meet the officer there. It’s bad. very bad. Thankfully, no one was hurt.

We had also left a note for our parents to call me. My brother is talking to an officer and my dad calls.
Dad: “What happened?”
Me: “Can I talk to mom?”
D: “No, what happened?”
M: “Can I please talk to mom?”
D: “No, just tell me what happened!”
M: “Brother got in an accident with friend”
D: "In his car?
M: “No”
D: “In friends car?”
M: “No”
D: “Well, what car was it?”
M: Deep breath. “It was your car”
Dad starts yelling and screaming. Thankfully, Mom gets him calmed down a little prior to his seeing brother again. We were prepared for my brother to leave, he was all packed to go.

Finally, we got the car towed, got back home, some how my dad has not yet killed my brother… but it’s still been a very long night.

2

Ooooh, yeah.

I totalled my mom’s when I was 18; only a Dodge Colt, but she loved it. Shit, I had permission though.
He’ll look back on this and laugh, but not until he’s 35.

3

Ya know, there’s something really eerie about those kinds of nights.

The blue lights flashing. The stiff cops asking you their questions while a dull ache settles between your ears. And the mournful, crumpled mess that once was somebody’s pride and joy.

Last summer, my 15-yr old totalled my brand-new 4-runner; just about like your brother did. Ran off and left it and everything. Man, what a kick to the gut that was.

Since then, I have figured out that it’s a lot better to be mourning the loss of a truck than it would be to be mourning the loss of my son. Your dad will realize that, too.

Glad nobody was hurt. My condolences to your dad!

4

I grew up with a guy who did the same thing. He was rather wild in his youth and so were his 3 brothers. This caused a lot trouble with his father and mother although most of the stuff they did was harmless. He is now the father of 3 boys himself who are doing the same type of stuff to him. We always get a chuckle out of that. I think the hardest thing will be the renewal of trust between your brother and father and how they handle the situation. I got a teen boy at 14 …guess I better hide the keys.

5

Your Dad needs to grow up. It’s a car. Shit happens.

He needs to address his Son’s, not worry about a car.

6

Well, I must be getting old (I’m 34), because I can see Dad’s point of view on this.

Yes, it would be horrible if Intent’s brother were seriously hurt or killed.

No, the car is not more important than Brother.

But for god’s sake. Brother knew how much the car meant to Dad. According to the OP, Dad has made it very clear that his cars, which he worked to get and works to maintain, are not to be messed with. I’m taking a leap here, but I’m going to assume that Dad doesn’t mess with stuff that Brother and Intent own and treasure.

So Brother takes the car on a “joyride”, without permission, and proves that Dad can’t trust him. Why did he take the car? (How old is he, BTW? Just curious.) The Infiniti was, as Intent said, Dad’s “baby”. (And it was brand new!) This is not like taking the last popsicle; this is a major act of disrespect.

The only way I can see Dad having no right to be upset about this is if Dad is characteristically cold and unfeeling towards his children, or at least towards Brother, and perhaps also contemptuous of their rights to their own treasured things, and Brother took the car out in a bid for independence and attention.

If it’s not like that, though, then Dad does not need to “grow up”. Brother does.

7

Find me a man who wouldn’t be upset at the totaling of his brand new Infiniti. That’s a $30,000 car. Yea, it’s great that the kid wasn’t hurt, but I’d be screaming, too, if my kid took my car out for a joyride and totalled it. Fortunately, I don’t have a kid.

8

Thank you Rilchiam. My dad is generally neither cold nor unfeeling. He’s a great guy. His initial reaction to “your pride and joy” has been destroyed was to be pretty freakin upset. But when he got to the site of the accident, the first thing he did was give my brother a hug. He never

And, he calmed down fast, and is just… upset that my brother betrayed him. Brother, by the way, is 21, about to turn 22, and should defintaly know better than to steal his dad’s car and go twice the speed limit on a road he’s never been on, showing off for some girl.

9

Rilichiam, your point of view has nothing to do with you getting old (btw-34 is NOT old)- I’m seventeen and I see it the exact same way you do. I would never borrow my parents’ cars without permission, especially if they were that special to them. If brother really needed to get somewhere, is there some other way he could have gotten there instead?

10

Oooh yeah, Brother has a car, and it was at the house when he removed Dad’s car. Taking Dad’s car was for joyriding purposes only.

11

The brother is 21?!?!?

The brother is dumb.

Infiniti G35? I wouldn’t explode. I’d disown him.

:wally

12

Dayam. Your brother is an idiot. Why would he do something like that? God. I’m suprised you brother didn’t die from fear. I certainly would. Mind you, my mother threatens my brother and I daily if we did anything wrong where we would be. She told my brother if his grades didn’t get better he would be stuck at the local community collage while I was at Yale or Harvard :slight_smile: . Oh how I love being the smart one. Anyway, your dad should be happy his son isnt dead and your brother should be happy his dad didn’t kill him. It is easier to mend cars then lives.

13

My take: everyone, at some point in their lives, does something that is a major fuck-up – something that is totally their fault, that they can’t blame on anything but their own stupidity, insensitivity to others, greed, or whatever.

This was your brother’s. It could have been oh, so much worse - a car is only a possession, albeit a valuable one.

The question is - is he gonna learn from this, make what restitution he can, and resolve to be a better person in the future? Or is this just a sign that he is basically stupid and uncaring of others, and will continue to be so in the future?

I think he has a choice to make. If I were your dad, I’d put it in those terms.