This may be a silly question, but I’m curious. For those of you dopers in long term homosexual relationships, particularly those of you who have a partner of roughly the same height and build, is there a tendency for clothes to become shared objects? Or do wardrobes remain as separate as in a typical heterosexual relationship? If the former, is it more along the lines of “this is my shirt, but you may wear it tonight” or “this is our shirt”?
Socks are shared. We sometimes wear each others’ tee shirts. Earrings are by permission only.
For shirts, “this is my shirt, but you may wear it tonight” pretty much describes it. cwPartner gets pissy if I grab one of his shirts without asking.
We take different size trousers, socks, and underwear so it’s not an issue for those items.
I’ve often made the joke that one of the hidden perks of a SS relationship is a wardrobe twice the size, but in reality, can you imagine how annoying it would be every time you came to wear one of your favourite items and it was on your partner’s back? So it does tend to be an occasional ‘may I wear your x tonight?’ and nothing more. Even socks are separate in my house.
Also, it’s really not very cool to start having the exact same dress sense now, is it? Hers and Hers matching anoraks anyone?
Most everything is shared, but if one of us really wants to wear a particular item then it’s pretty well understood that the other person lets them.
It’s not an issue with pants at the moment since I wear a few sizes larger than he does right now. When I get my figure back, I will greatly increase the number of jeans I can wear. WOOHOO!
We’re different enough in size that socks are about all we can share.
Old saying: First up, best dressed.
She’s shorter than me and so can steal my jeans to wear baggy. We can share tops. Knicks and socks are “goddammit, you took my favourite socks!!”. Sometimes clothes are bought with the understanding that it is “shareware”, and some items are strictly off limits, most other items are on a negotiation basis. Items sometimes drift in ownership over time.
Size difference, so all we share are socks.
However, slightly off topic, we make a point to be sure we are NOT wearing the same color or style of clothing.
Nothing more ridiculous than to see an adult couple go out dressed alike, no matter what their sexual orientation…
Hmm. I hope the responses in this thread don’t destroy my Secret Gay Fantasy™ where I share clothes with my dream woman. And we live in Paris. But she’s Japanese. And we’re married. And she’s a cuddler. And we have three dogs.
Uhhh… I mean… err… carry on.
Ah, interesting. I had expected it to be more along the lines of strictly separate wardrobes, but it seems like moderate sharing, if possible, is closer to the norm. Thank you for enlightening me!
Also, is this something that tends to change over the length of a relationship? If you’re together longer, do you tend to share more, or to hold back more? After awhile, do you start to keep more to yourself, perhaps to strengthen your individual identity, or share more because you’re more comfortable together?
My SO has about 50 pounds on me, so I can share his clothes and he can wear some of my baggy stuff. For the most part, we have different styles so the twain don’t meet that often anyways. (He likes his athletic gear and I’m more preppy).
Not much sharing between us, really. Of course, I’ve been several sizes larger for many years. When we first met we were closer in size and shared very occasionally. She often takes my too-big-for-her, too-small-for-me cast offs for work clothes. I’m happy to say that I’m starting to fit into some of her oversized clothes. I now look at her side of the closet with speculation and greed in my eyes. Bwahaha.
Strangely, almost everyone here says they share socks but we only do by permission or in desperation.
Garula, I question one of your premises: I’ve known hetero couples to share clothes when possible.
My girlfriend frequently wears my shirts and jackets, and I sometimes borrow her shirts. I have an unfortunate tendency to buy pants that are too short for me, so they always get passed to her since she’s a bit shorter.
My spousette would never wear my clothes (too femme-y for her. Sort of like your husband wearing yours, if you’re female), but I occasionally nab one of her button-downs to wear over a tank top at the beach or something. Oh wait, once she tried on a pair of Nike flipflops I bought and completely claimed them as her own. I never got to wear them again! (They were incredibly comfortable. I immediately bought another pair). I might wear one of her necklaces, but she doesn’t wear my jewelry. At any rate, she’s not “into” clothes and I am.
Even when I’ve dated guys much shorter than myself, some clothes end up getting shared. We still had a feeling of ownership over our respective clothing, there was nothing that was “ours”, but in terms of wearing things it was open game. I have several “trophy” items from guys I’m no longer dating 
Hrmm…I thought you two had different body types. I must have been too drunk to notice
BTW, where was he when we were playing Smash Brothers? Does he hate me or something?
Speaking of which, you never told me the name of your cat!
Dating? Shit, one couple still has my UCSD sweater from one threesome, a month ago!
jellyblue, if you see Mike and his wife in PB, smack them both across the face, will you?
Definitely. Unsquare Dude and I share clothing, mostly because I’m a tomboy and our wardrobes are very similar.
Heh, nobody my age GOES to PB, Hostile, but if I see them trolling for a girl at Bourbon St. on a Sunday, I definitely will. Or at least advise their pickup to keep an eye on her sportswear.
I love the term “trophy item”. I just realized I have a kickass black satin Betsey Johnson shirt that is just that (how she ever buttoned that thing over her boobs is beyond me…)
We know who wears the pants in your family!
j/k!