I know that I have brought this up in the “what I hate about my job” thread earlier, but I am going to bring it up again.
I absolutely hate it when people just sit there in a long and uncomfortable silence when you give them an answer that they do not want to hear.
We are a civilization. As such, there are rules that we follow. One of them is that if you are in a conversation and it is your turn to say something, you don’t sit there in thunderous silence like some moon-struck cow. This behavior threatens the very fabric of all that is good in our culture. It also makes you look like a manipulative piece of shit (at best) or a gob-smacked moron (at worst).
I am pretty sure that this is some outdated business trick that people were taught during the 80s or something. What happens is that you give someone a 100% factually correct answer to a question (and in a professional and polite manner, at that). At this point, as far as you are concerned, the conversation is over. They either need to say thank you and goodbye or they need to say something else to either ask questions to clarify your point, or explore another way of getting what they are after.
Instead, they sit there in silence. It is pretty obvious that this is some cheap-ass tactic that is designed to somehow make you uncomfortable so that you will blurt out the jack-secret answer that they really want to hear.
I cannot tell you the seething contempt that I have for people that do this. What I do is bring a book to work (I do call-center type tech support) and just sit there and read if it goes on for too long.
“Long, uncomfortable silence” is the very definition of all my visits with my inlaws.
Oh-wait, I stand corrected–we do talk about the weather…
As to the response (or lack thereof) that you refer to–it sounds to me like the other participant does not know what to say. Did you stun them with your verbosity or eloquence? Styme them with your rapier wit and intelligence?
Or maybe they figure the convo is ovah and are wondering silently what to have for lunch.
Well, the reason that I attribute this to the 80s is that the late 80s and early 90s were particularly bad for the sort of business fads from which that I think this is left over. Things like Total Quality Management, 7 Habits of successful douchebags. Stuff like that.
Here is an example. My company used to give away Technical Support for free. As of January of 2004, the policy changed to either require a support contract or a per incident fee. This is only for “how to” questions. For any crash or program bug that folks find, we still help for free.
So, I will get some self-important middle manager call up with a clear “how to” question. I will look them up in our CRM program, and discover that they do not have a support contract. At this point, I will very politely explain the policy to them, when it was implemented and what the options are. I will also explain that this particular administrative issue will need to be resolved before I can help them.
So, at this point a long silence just is not called for. I cannot and will not just decide to help them for free in direct defiance of company policy. Also, it is not as if the choices that are in front of them are not clear. They can thank me (or call me a dickhead), hang up and go RTFM or they can give me a credit card number.
It is. We learned it in a journalism class I took. It works, and I still use it (IMHO) appropriately, for example, when trying to get an answer out of someone. People don’t like silence, so they’ll fill it up. You’ve got the perfect counter-attack (meet silence with silence), so their technique fails on you.
The business fads of the '80’s has nothing to do with this.
I have been on the other end of this–IMO, the fact that one must PAY for help for a product that is not working pisses me off no end. I go and load X and it doesn’t work–yes, I followed the directions–and now I hafta PAY for you to load it when I should be able to on my own?
This is good business? I don’t think so.
You are not experiencing a conversational control tactic–you are experiencing the response to unwelcome news.
One of my kids got the computer into safe mode one day–and we couldn’t get it out, no matter what we tried. So, I called whoever. I was transferred to India and I had to give my credit card number in order to get transferred to Canada, where the guy said he would send me a repair disc, because the “help” logarithm (or whatever you call it) wouldn’t work, so a patch was needed. Uh-kid went on the laptop and found a site and fixed the damn thing for free.
This is all Greek to me…but the premise that I now have to pay for correcting a product that is faultily made is brand new and most disliked.
Hey, it’s not your fault–but these folks are mad as hell about it, I am sure.
I would just say, “sir?” or “m’am?” into the silence and then if no reply, re-iterate what you said.
Nah, BinaryDrone, I think you’re giving these people too much credit. The fact is, there are a lot of dumbasses out there who live in their own little world. Generally, such people have become adept at avoiding situations where they might hear something they don’t like. It then comes as all the more shock when they have to consult someone like yourself and hear an answer they are totally unprepared for. At this point, you have picked them up and dropped them off in the middle of Katmandu. They don’t know the land, they don’t know the language, and they haven’t the remotest clue as to what to do next. All they can hope for is to sit there and remain still and hope someone will take pity on them and escort them to the United States Embassy.
This happened to me today. A customer came in to make a payment. He should have come in yesterday to make said payment; therefore, his account now had a late fee added to his total.
This is the third time this has happened with this guy, so he should know the drill by now. I gave him his total explained why it was higher than he was expecting (again). I then brought up a game of solitaire to play while he let the bad news sink in (or whatever else he was doing in his head while he silently gave me the ol’ stink eye for [no joke] five minutes. I played three hands of solitaire while waiting for him to stop waiting for me to say something else).
And he couldn’t see me playing, so he didn’t think that I was fooling around with the computer trying to remove the late fee. I kept looking up at him, but he just stood there. Weird man. Never did get me to stammer and take back the awful things I said.
Don’t ask me what stuff I have–it’s not really mine. This is hubby’s department–I jsut come and bang on the keys every day.
No, really. I do.
Don’t know what it’s called, how much memory, what kind of connection, what software–whatever.
I don’t care, either.
but I also agree with Ponder --I think that many are just waiting for something that they can identify as a familiar…
It doesn’t make dealing with them any easier–maybe pretend that they are aborigines from Venus and don’t know the ways of our people?
Or start speaking in words of one syllable–that always helps me!
Binarydrone - get a loud, old fashioned stopwatch a la60 Minutes, and set it ticking by the phone’s mouthpiece. This should help improve customer response time.
I feel your pain Binarydrone. I have worked at call centres for years (until recently) and almost any time a customer got an answer they didn’t like, they would resort to silence.
“What? You really expect me to pay $XXX for a hotel room? That’s the best you can do?” “What? I have to pay for a room because I made a reservation and never showed up or cancelled?” As soon as I answered yes, there’d be stony silence. Fortunately, my most recent employer didn’t penalize for excessive talk time. I would usually take that time to catch up on my email.
Yes, long uncomfortable silences with customers are by far the WORST kind. They think that you can magically make things all better because “the customer is always right”.
For example: Yesterday was my second day at my new job. I am a veterinary assistant at a local animal hospital. Lady comes in to pick up her cat, and I knew she was coming so I had the cat in the carrier set out front. She had already paid, yadda yadda. Seemed like it would be a smooth transaction. I give you the cat, you leave.
Nope. She wanted to pick up a reciept and some tags for 13 animals. I don’t know why (or how) she has 13 animals that all requite treatment at the vet clinic. Obviously I was unsure of what to do, or what she really needed to pick up, being new and all. I explained to her that it was my second day on the job, it was my first time working up front, and that the vet was in surgery. Surgery = sterile, very important, must not leave the surgery room until surgery is complete.
No. This lady would have none of that. I told her that I would tell the vet what she needed and that we could mail her the reciept and tags. She stood there for literally 5 minutes. Just making angry faces. EXCUSE ME for not knowing everything on my SECOND day of the job. No I can not go get the vet, no I can not help you. Mean ass old lady.
I used to have a VP (long ago) who would do this. He would often put his hands behind his head, lean back in his chair, and stare at you, emotionless.
I found that when people do this, I force the issue by saying “You do understand the words that have come out of my mouth just now, right?” This works well for people I don’t like and don’t need to submit to. For people I need to be diplomatic to, or people I like, I use the trick of never allowing the conversation to end unilaterally. That is, I always end up with a question to them on the end of it which demands attention, like this hyperbolic example:
“Well Tom, not only is your plant about the explode, but you’ve poisoned the water so much with mercury runoff that fish, rocks, and the bodies you buried in the ravine float on top of it. So you need to shut the plant down and prepare for a long prison sentence. (typical ending point) However, if you really did buy the last election in this State, you can get the governor to pardon you after 6 months for good behaviour - you did send him that suitcase of $100’s, right? (see, end on something that demands response on their part)”
Una Persson, Thanks. These are all very helpful suggestions, many of which are similar to coping strategies that I already use. It does not mean, however, that I don’t find this sort of behavior to be very irritating and grating.
I WISH some of our customers would shut the hell up. Not that your pain is any less for it, but remember the ones who do complain endlessly and angrily instead, despite your best efforts to help and explain it to them.
And THEN when they complain to your boss that you were 'mean". Gah.
I’m with CanvasShoes. Talkative angry customers are worse. And yes, raz, they people are just stupid when their pet is involved. Vet hospital customers fall into categories:
the really nice people who would do anything and follow all your advice (0.00001%). They tend to own the worst behaved animals
the people who whine and chafe about how much things cost because, since the care cost more than the animal, you must be shafting them (50%) Tend to own the sweetest, prettiest animals and tend to drive a very expensive car/have expensive clothes.
the people who do something really dumb and get their animal into a serious ditch and expect you to fix it for free because they are really sorry now (50%) Their animal tends to die or eventually your clinic goes bankrupt when they tell all their friends how you helped them.
</hyjack>
Anyway, favorite example of angry talkative client: Lady calls past 9pm to the emergency line and wants me to cancel the appointment her pet has the following morning. No problem, all set and cancelled. She wants to make sure the doctor knows. I assure her that the doctor will find out in the morning. No, she wants me to call the doctor now, while she remains on the other line, and tell him. Even my “the doctor is probably sleeping now, ma’am” big guns didn’t work. She wouldn’t shut her ugly trap for five minutes. Never wanted to strangle anyone more. And the best part is, she’s probably told all her friends what asses we are for not obeying her every whim.
