Looks like God forgot a part.

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

My problems getting dates appear to be my fault. I’ve been missing so much.

I was supposed to go with a buddy of mine to the hockey game last night, but he ended up backing out. Since I couldn’t come up with anybody else, I decided to head over to the game by myself, hoping to meet up with somebody I knew. I ended up finding April almost immediately upon entering the building and we started talking.

Quick background. I met her about 2 weeks ago at a restaurant where a ‘meet the players’ party was going on. Since then, we’ve gone out 4 or 5 times(depending on what you call going out), but I never thought she wanted anything serious. I had just assumed she was a friend friend. A friend of hers, Ashlyn(sp?), has been with us 3 of those times. Both of them are very intelligent and definitely cute.

Back to the story. April and I were busy taking up half the isle and talking. About halfway through the 2nd period, she seemed to get kind of upset and asked me what was wrong with her. WTF? I just stood there. Apparently, both she and Ashlyn had been guilty of gratuitous flirting over the past couple of weeks and I haven’t responded at all. They’ve had kind of a friendly competition thing going. I don’t see anything serious ever happening between either of them and myself, but hey, I can’t whine about dates anymore.

The point of all this is this. Apparently, when I was born, God forgot to include the part that detects flirting. I now have no idea how many opportunities I’ve missed. I also have no idea how many opportunities I will miss. This sucks.

That was a really long story. At least, it looks long in the little window. When I submit it’ll probably by about 5 lines tall. Anyway, in order to make this a real thread, I’ll pose this question. Anybody else get ripped off at birth?

2

What a sweet story! Your life is changed forever. Follow eggo’s lead though, and use your newly found power for good, not evil.

What part did God forget? He didn’t give me the capacity to figure out spatial relationships. Which is okay, until it’s time to arrange furniture. Or wrap a gift. Or put the car in the garage if hubby’s truck is already there.

3

Welcome to the club.

I was at an amusement park with parts of my family a few years back (my younger sister and brother) and this one girl was talking to me after bumper cars . . . very flirtacious, according to my sister. I just shrugged and had no effing clue. Four years later: “Oh yeah, she was SO flirting with you!” “And you didn’t tell me this why?”

But that’s equally due to the fact that in high school, what normally is flirting for people or being nice was just their way of getting me to do things for them. So now I get to re-learn all that . . . fun.

I also can’t smell very well.

4

I hear ya. On the rare occasion that flirting actually occurs, I’m too overwhelmingly surprised to respond accordingly. The opportunity will never present itself again, all further contact with the person in question will just cause me to turn into a total doofus.

Feh.

5

lol. My SO is the same way. If he hadn’t gone after me, we probably wouldn’t have started dating. It was hilarious to watch him in a club! These girls would be hitting on him and he was oblivious. He has gotten a little better at being able to tell since we have been dating.

6

I used to have the same problem and I think it wasn’t because God missed a part.

I would meet women and talk to them sometimes at long length and find out later that they had been flirting with me. I guess it is because I can be a little flirtatious myself I don’t notice it in others. I never used to go out to pick up women but to just have a good time, a few drinks and some dancing and then I would be on my way home.

It was my female friends that would pass along information later about so and so thinking I was cute and why didn’t I try to pick them up.

7

Well, I will try and help you a little, Aglarond, since I am an infamous flirt (ahem…Biggest Flirt KHS Class of '99…ahem).

Here are some pretty good rules, based on how I flirt, and a lot of other girls, too…

  1. If she touches your arm or leg, she’s flirting.
  2. If she rubs any part of your anatomy, she’s flirting (and horny too, methinks).
  3. If she laughs at your jokes, but you don’t think they were deserving of such laughter, she’s flirting.
  4. If she looks up at you from under her eyelashes bashfully, she’s flirting.
  5. If she tucks her hair behind her ear and smiles at you, possibly doing the eyelash thing too, she’s flirting.
  6. If she smiles and blushes at all, she’s shy but she’s still interested.
  7. If she goes out of her way to say hi or ask how you are doing, she’s nice and she’s flirting too (good combo).

Those are some basic rules. I could get into the mischevious smile, the toe cleavage, the butt shake and some dancing-flirting manuevers, but practice these first. They are certainly not universal, but pretty basic for the girls I know.

Example:

It may sound a tad contrived when written, but trust me, I’d have you wrapped around my finger.

And my most important rule is, don’t rule anyone out. I know guys who say, Oh she’d never flirt with a geek like me, but women like all types. Just be confident.

Look at me: http://www.fsu.umd.edu/admin/lc/fall00/rebel/pics/rrhr3.jpg (second from left, black shirt)

I’m certainly not beautiful or perfect but I think it’s all in the attutude.

Good luck, men. Pay attention to the details and you will get lucky before you know it. :slight_smile:

8

Good glory! You mean my mother’s been flirting with me all these years?

Beware, though . . . I have friends who do some of these things and they are so not flirting . . . I know this because one of them has had a boyfriend who is not me for the past 3 years or so.

[hijack]
N4S, do you go to UMCP? I see you go to UMD, but are you at the College Park campus?

9

That’s a lot for a guy like me to process. I’m telling you, when it comes to flirting, I’m friggin’ clueless.

Scenario:

Pretty, flirtatious, horny girl - “Wanna go back to my place?” ::grabs my ass::

Me - “You need a ride? Sorry, I promised my mom I’d pick her up some ice cream and stop by her house to chat for a little while. Here’s some money for a cab.”
For some reason, girls can do that, and I won’t realize it until somebody else points it out. I have no idea why. Thanks for the tips, though.

10

Wow…a she put a picture up. That must mean she likes me…
So, which one of these girls were you flirting with at the time the picture was taken?
And thanks for the clarification. Black shirt, hmm…that narrows it down to about 17 people in the picture.

[completely shamless total flirting (but the truth)]Nacho, what are you talking about? Not beautiful? You look pretty damn cute.[/completely shamless total flirting (but the truth)]
I’m actually pretty bad myself at telling when a girl is flirting with me. I’ve been told way more times than I’d like to that I got my signals a bit crossed when I tried to make a move. I’ve also sat for eons wondering “should I kiss her? No? Maybe? She’s gonna say no. Maybe she would have said yes 5 minutes ago before you started talking to yourself.” Don’t like it. I do like the girl just dropping all pretenses and TELLING ME she likes me. I’m apparently not getting the hint.

11

Hijack:

Well…iampunha, I attended Frostburg for a year, then dropped out for this semester so I could transfer (I really hated that shitty little mountain town - special occasions called for trips to Wal-Mart, and I hate Wal-Mart.

Spring 01 I am going to UMBC, commuting from Baltimore. Much easier that way (and they have my major - Anthropology - I am doubling that with English).

I remember you saying you go to school in DC…whereabouts? My cousin goes to American.

End Hijack:

Yes, I do believe your mom is flirting with you! :slight_smile:

Exasperating! I would never blatantly grab an ass unless I could count on the yes in reply, but I think it’s cute anyway.

At this point, I would just say, “You know, Aglarond, I am very interested in you but you aren’t showing any interest in me. Whaddya think?”

Everyone was wearing black because it was Beat night at a local cafe…Amanda was confused and wore tie-dye (50’s - 60’s who cares? says she)

I was flirting with the guy at the table next to me in the green shirt:
http://www.fsu.umd.edu/admin/lc/fall00/rebel/pics/rrhr2.jpg

Don’t ask…he broke my heart :frowning:

When in doubt, pucker up. She’s probably thinking the same thing.

See, the thing is, girls are always taught not to chase after guys or they will lose interest. And in my own experiance, being forward has been a mood-killer. A lot of guys I know my age are just in it for the game. I have girl friends who tell me to treat guys like shit and they will kiss the ground I walk on. So you don’t wanna make the move, I don’t wanna make the move…nobody has any fun. Miscimmunication sucks, doesn’t it?
BTW, thanks Enderw23. :slight_smile:

12

You’re not alone. I can never tell if I’m being flirted with either, but it doesn’t matter because no one actually does flirt with me. Ay caramba.

13

I go to school at George Mason, which isn’t that far from UMBC. Actually, last year (fall semester) I went to an academic team tournament at GWU at which I met not fewer than six students from UMBC. You might want to look into their academic team or academic club or whatever they call it if you’re interested in that sort of thing. the quizbowl community is full of lots of interesting people:)

About my mom flirting . . . YUCKETY YUCKETY YUCK YUCK YUCK!!! EWIE EWIE EWIE! WE DON’T LIKE IT!

End hijack.

The only way I figured out one friend of mine was flirting back with me was when she started playing with my hair . . . I couldn’t tell when she was kneeling beside me and letting me play with hers.

14

Algarond, be glad that women flirt with you, wether you know it or not!I don’t even get that.

Everything in my life is going well, except for the fact that I’m single. I can’t do anything right when it comes to that department. I completely outweird any girl I try to talk to. They all seem to run a mile. I don’t know how the hell I’m gonna stop worrying about this. I know I’m young, and I have a lot of time ahead of me (I’m 21) but I still feel empty in that department. I’ve had some chances about that, but something always rules it out.
I just dont want to be 50 and still complaining about the same thing.

Enough self pity. please disregard this post, it isn’t worth the worry.

15

Hey, Ag, that should make you feel better. Now all of us who can’t get dates think - “we’re just missing the clues…” Thanks. I only pick up on the clues sometimes online, and they’re usually obvious. Well, not as obvious as the one grabbing your ass…

Sara - the girls who say treat the guys like shit are like guys who tell each other “Girls only like the bad boys.” Aren’t you lying to yourself if it’s all an act? Hope you’re not doing that. And don’t be afraid to make the move yourself. It may well be very welcome.

16

Same here. The few times I’ve gone to clubs with friends they would tell me that some woman had been flirting with me, and it came as a total surprise to me. I don’t notice it unless it is blatantly obvious. Fortunately, it was blatantly obvious in the case of Pepper Mill (Mrs. Cal). We’ve been married for seven years now. But the history of my love life before her is a sorry and sparse spectacle.

17

Don’t worry, I’m incapable of treating someone like shit. There’s this 40 year old guy at work who has the hots for me and sings love songs when I walk by and tells all my friends that he wants me, but I still can’t be mean to him. Isn’t that pathetic?

Anyway, I don’t believe that treating people like shit will get me anything. The only girl who could honestly say this worked out for her was completely bald with a nose ring and still beautiful, so…I don’t think she was representative of everyone.

18

Am I the only one here wondering how the story turned out? Aglarond, did you do the right thing an go after her, or what? C’mon, man, I’m dying here!

19

Aglarond (and others), I don’t know if this applies to you, but I know that a lot of people - male and female - who have trouble identifying flirting also have trouble picking up any type of signals. What I mean is that everyone gives off signals indicating how they’re feeling to one degree or another. It’s not limited to flirting - it happens during everything, from regular conversations with friends, family, or co-workers, to someone standing by themself.

If you’re not good at reading people, you might want to read up on body language. You can then make your everyday, comfortable and familiar life a sort of case study in human behavior. For instance, most of us can usually tell when we’re talking too much to someone who has somewhere to go. We can see that they start looking at their watch, or they get fidgety, etc. Sometimes when a person isn’t really interested in what you’re saying, they will touch or scratch their ear. Doesn’t seem like much, but it’s a subtle signal that even the person may not realize they’re doing.

If you speak with someone, and they fold their arms, it often indicates that they are not exactly comfortable for whatever reason. People who may be lying will look away, or shift their eyes around. We can often tell by how someone stands if they are confident or not, or if they’re just tired.

The point is that if you can become familiar with people’s body language in the safe surroundings of your everyday life, and learn how to interpret the clues that we all give, it might help you when you meet a girl you’re interested in. It may also give you clues as to how you are seen by your own mannerisms. Nacho4Sara (who, BTW, gets my vote for cute) lists some very good things to watch for. You’ve no doubt seen them in your experiences, but may not have had the confidence in yourself to believe it. If it turns out that you aren’t familiar with general body language, you should do some research, try some field experimentation, and I guarantee you’ll do better with the ladies.

Try this site for starters:
http://www.discovery.com/lifestyles/dating/bodylanguage.html

20

Yeah, we’re going out Wednesday. I still don’t see anything serious happening between us, but it’ll be fun, anyway. What’s the most confusing about all of this is I don’t know why I can’t see anything serious happening. There’s nothing wrong with her, I just haven’t gotten that feeling. Don’t know how to explain it.

And thanks for the link, Dire. I’ll take a better look at it when I get a chance.