Loopy Limericks

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2268

Said a young lad as I happened to walk past,
‘Do you know how to make a shoe last?’

2269

Said a young lad as I happened to walk past,
‘Do you know how to make a shoe last?’
It’s a mold that you use

2270

Said a young lad as I happened to walk past,
'Do you know how to make a shoe last?
It’s a mold that you use,
(Not like the mold in old shoes)

2271

Said a young lad as I happened to walk past,
'Do you know how to make a shoe last?
It’s a mold that you use,
(Not like the mold in old shoes)
And shoemaker’s elves make them real fast!

I found myself in prison with O.J.

2272

I found myself in prison with O.J.
So I told him I was Keyser Söze.

2273

I found myself in prison with O.J.
So I told him I was Keyser Söze.
He replied, “That’s the shit!”

2274

I found myself in prison with O.J.
So I told him I was Keyser Söze.
He replied, “That’s the shit!”
(It’s a convincing bit)

2275

I found myself in prison with O.J.
So I told him I was Keyser Söze.
He replied, “That’s the shit!”
(It’s a convincing bit)
And he poured me some toilet-brewed rosé.

There once was a fellow from Bath

2276

There once was a fellow from Bath
Who had a lisp and a nice ass

2277

There once was a fellow from Bath
Who had a lisp and a nice ass
He thought “Bath” rhymed with “ass”

2278

There once was a fellow from Bath
Who had a lisp and a nice ass
He thought “Bath” rhymed with “ass”
And the guy had no class

2279

There once was a fellow from Bath
Who had a lisp and a nice ass
He thought “Bath” rhymed with “ass”
And the guy had no class
When he wrote “Math for the Mass.”

I once had a date with a mermaid

2280

I once had a date with a mermaid,
So big the sea darkened in her shade.

2281

I once had a date with a mermaid,
So big the sea darkened in her shade.
Though I swam for a mile

2282

I once had a date with a mermaid,
So big the sea darkened in her shade.
Though I swam for a mile
My thoughts remained vile

2283

I once had a date with a mermaid,
So big the sea darkened in her shade.
Though I swam for a mile,
My thoughts remained vile
Till an icebreaker came to her aid.

I once had a very bad habit,

2284

I once had a very bad habit,
I’d grab a young cat and I’d stab it

2285

I once had a very bad habit,
I’d grab a young cat and I’d stab it
As my knife plunged to the hilt

2286

I once had a very bad habit,
I’d grab a young cat and I’d stab it
As my knife plunged to the hilt
I’d ensure it was kilt

2287

I once had a very bad habit,
I’d grab a young cat and I’d stab it
As my knife plunged to the hilt
I’d ensure it was kilt
And then I’d move on to the rabbit!

In a race with a tortoise and hare.