Loopy Limericks

I once knew a girl named Lucille
Who would give out a particular squeal
Whenever she boffed
A dwarf in a loft
She came with an unbridled zeal
The couple next door is quite loud

The couple next door is quite loud
Whenever they talk on their Cloud

The couple next door is quite loud
Whenever they talk on their Cloud
And if you think that’s bad

The couple next door is quite loud
Whenever they talk on their Cloud
And if you think that’s bad
I can tell you a real egad!

The couple next door is quite loud
Whenever they talk on their Cloud
And if you think that’s bad
I can tell you a real egad!
But I need words that aren’t allowed.

My father-in-law is a pig.

My father-in-law is a pig
Looks like a freak, wearing that wig

My father-in-law is a pig.
Looks like a freak, wearing that wig.
His ties sear the eyes

My father-in-law is a pig.
Looks like a freak, wearing that wig.
His ties sear the eyes
Which are bigger than pies

My father-in-law is a pig.
Looks like a freak, wearing that wig.
His ties sear the eyes
Which are bigger than pies
And he yodels while dancing a jig

Two girls and man made a deal

Two girls and man made a deal
For 500 each and a meal

Two girls and man made a deal
For 500 each and a meal
They pawed in their pants

Two girls and man made a deal
For 500 each and a meal
They pawed in their pants
Then did a lewd dance.

Two girls and man made a deal
For 500 each and a meal
They pawed in their pants
Then did a lewd dance.
& played a tune on his big glockenspiel.
I took a day off from my work

I took a day off from my work
Because my old boss is a jerk.

took a day off from my work
Because my old boss is a jerk.
Instead I went to the beach

took a day off from my work
Because my old boss is a jerk.
Instead I went to the beach
Troubled, I wrote this speech-

took a day off from my work
Because my old boss is a jerk.
Instead I went to the beach
Troubled, I wrote this speech-
“You moron, you drive me berserk!”

A wizard, a mime and a jester

A wizard, a mime and a jester
Walked into a bar to pester

A wizard, a mime and a jester
Walked into a bar to pester
The girl with the pearl

A wizard, a mime and a jester
Walked into a bar to pester
The girl with the pearl
Which caused her to hurl