Loopy Limericks

Betty O had a dream of fishing.
To meet the right man she was wishing
Alas, for her fate
She hadn’t the bait

Betty O had a dream of fishing.
To meet the right man she was wishing
Alas, for her fate
She hadn’t the bait
He didn’t fall for things she was dishing.

The holiday season is upon us.

The holiday season is upon us.
The sale ads, they give me no solace

The holiday season is upon us.
The sale ads, they give me no solace.
But whatever I buy,

The holiday season is upon us.
The sale ads, they give me no solace.
But whatever I buy,
In two blinks of an eye

The holiday season is upon us.
The sale ads, they give me no solace.
But whatever I buy,
In two blinks of an eye
Becomes a thing that just has no use.


There are three things that we should all know

There are three things that we should all know:
When the lights turn to green one should ‘GO’;

There are three things that we should all know:
When the lights turn to green one should ‘GO’;
But when they turn yellow

There are three things that we should all know:
When the lights turn to green one should ‘GO’;
But when they turn yellow
Don’t waffle, fellow

There are three things that we should all know:
When the lights turn to green one should ‘GO’;
But when they turn yellow
Don’t waffle, fellow
Going through them is a big NO.

When driving, I just read a text

When driving, I just read a text
You won’t believe what happened next

When driving, I just read a text
You won’t believe what happened next
I rear ended a hearse

When driving, I just read a text
You won’t believe what happened next
I rear ended a hearse
And to make matters worse

When driving, I just read a text
You won’t believe what happened next
I rear ended a hearse
And to make matters worse
I deleted the sexiest sext.

Holidays make us quite horny

Holidays make us quite horny,
Especially when the holly is thorny

Holidays make us quite horny,
Especially when the holly is thorny
And Santa’s on the roof

Holidays make us quite horny,
Especially when the holly is thorny
And Santa’s on the roof
All nude for a goof

Holidays make us quite horny,
Especially when the holly is thorny
And Santa’s on the roof
All nude for a goof
And we’re all singing carols quite corny.

It’s time to start trimming the tree

t’s time to start trimming the tree
That task gets the better of me!

It’s time to start trimming the tree
That task gets the better of me!
I get covered in tinsel