There once was a hiker from Stockton
With no shoes on the feet that he walked on.
Instead he wore hose
Which did not pinch his toes,
-“BB”-
There once was a hiker from Stockton
With no shoes on the feet that he walked on.
Instead he wore hose
Which did not pinch his toes,
'Cos it hung on the chair that he rocked on.
A monk who was hooked on cocaine,
A monk who was hooked on cocaine
Tried to mellow his buzz with champagne
A monk who was hooked on cocaine
Tried to mellow his buzz with champagne
After doing a line
A monk who was hooked on cocaine
Tried to mellow his buzz with champagne
After doing a line
And some sacramental wine
A monk who was hooked on cocaine
Tried to mellow his buzz with champagne
After doing a line
And some sacramental wine
He prayed for a bowl of chow mein
An acrobat had a new stunt
An acrobat had a new stunt
Involving a girl who could punt
An acrobat had a new stunt
Involving a girl who could punt.
While swinging a bat
An acrobat had a new stunt
Involving a girl who could punt.
While swinging a bat
A vampire, at that
An acrobat had a new stunt,
Involving a girl who could punt
While swinging a bat –
A vampire, at that –
Then bowed, while all exeunt.
There once was a cyclist named Bill
-“BB”-
@Rico posted elsewhere: ‘With a name like Smuckers… You’d better not try to write any limericks.’
So I replied with this:
There once was a man named Smuckers,
Who wrote out a rhyme for some truckers.
‘Fuel prices are high,’
He said with a sigh,
‘Financially you’re out-of-luckers.’
OK, that’s not very good. It was the best I could do in a rush. I tried again after my shower.
There once was a man named Smuckers
Whose products delivered sweet puckers
When asked by some men,
‘Do you make it with hen?’
He said, ‘I use berries, not cluckers!’
And then I had to follow up that one with this one:
There once was a crazy old coot
Who said cackleberries are fruit
‘But they don’t grow on trees,’
He conceded with ease,
‘They come out of a chicken’s patoot!’
There once was a cyclist named Bill
Who rode his bike nude for a thrill
There once was a cyclist named Bill
Who rode his bike nude for a thrill
Down a shaded school path
There once was a cyclist named Bill
Who rode his bike nude for a thrill
Down a shaded school path
He kept a wide swath
There once was a cyclist named Bill
Who rode his bike nude for a thrill
Down a shaded school path
He kept a wide swath
'Cos the kids cried out ‘Pedo Phil’.
The truth is, I really love honey
The truth is, I really love honey
Whether solid or liquid or gummy
The truth is, I really love honey
Whether solid or liquid or gummy.
It’s nice spread on bread,
-“BB”-
The truth is, I really love honey
Whether solid or liquid or gummy.
It’s nice spread on bread,
Pooh Bear has said
The truth is, I really love honey
Whether solid or liquid or gummy.
It’s nice spread on bread,
Pooh Bear has said
While patting his rumbly tummy.
If you just take a moment to think
If you just take a moment to think
Why other folks farts always stink