Loopy Limericks

A protestor carried a sign
That read “give me what’s rightfully mine!”
His mom made a fist

A protestor carried a sign
That read “give me what’s rightfully mine!”
His mom made a fist
Then gave his collar a twist

A protestor carried a sign
That read “give me what’s rightfully mine!”
His mom made a fist
Then gave his collar a twist
And said, ‘That’ll teach you to whine!’

At the end of the table sat Putin,

At the end of the table sat Putin
His complexion resembled steamed gluten

At the end of the table sat Putin.
His complexion resembled steamed gluten.
His hair, it was sparce

At the end of the table sat Putin.
His complexion resembled steamed gluten.
His hair, it was sparce
and of his Ruskie arse

At the end of the table sat Putin.
His complexion resembled steamed gluten.
His hair, it was sparce
And of his Ruskie arse
His comrades all wished for a bootin’.

It’s long past my bedtime tonight

It’s long past my bedtime tonight
I got the feelin’ that somethin’ ain’t right

It’s long past my bedtime tonight
I got the feelin’ that somethin’ ain’t right.
My sack is all saggy

[It’s long past my bedtime tonight
I got the feelin’ that somethin’ ain’t right.
My sack is all saggy
My wag isn’t waggy

It’s long past my bedtime tonight
I got the feelin’ that somethin’ ain’t right.
My sack is all saggy
My wag isn’t waggy
And some parts of me aren’t watertight.

My spouse said, "I need a vacation

My spouse said, “I need a vacation.
It’s driving me mad, this vibration”.

My spouse said, “I need a vacation.
It’s driving me mad, this vibration”.
So we climbed in the Jeep

My spouse said, “I need a vacation.
It’s driving me mad, this vibration”.
So we climbed in the Jeep,
Fired up the old heap,

-“BB”-

My spouse said, “I need a vacation.
It’s driving me mad, this vibration”.
So we climbed in the Jeep,
Fired up the old heap,
And hit the road with no destination.

There once was a Buddhist from Nepal

There once was a Buddhist from Nepal
Who loved to watch “Better Call Saul”

There once was a Buddhist from Nepal
Who loved to watch “Better Call Saul”
but one night he fell asleep

There once was a Buddhist from Nepal
Who loved to watch “Better Call Saul”
but one night he fell asleep
And dreamed not of sheep

[quote=“Fear_Itself, post:3726, topic:712149, full:true”]
There once was a Buddhist from Nepal
Who loved to watch “Better Call Saul”
but one night he fell asleep
And dreamed not of sheep
But a boy making love with a Gaul.

She cried as she took off her glasses,

She cried as she took off her glasses,
She was simply one of those lasses…