A townsperson once turned into a newt
Was still considered by many to be cute
Though his wife begged to differ
A townsperson once turned into a newt
Was still considered by many to be cute
Though his wife begged to differ:
“His old wang was stiffer.”
A townsperson once turned into a newt
Was still considered by many to be cute
But the townsman got better
A townsperson once turned into a newt
Was still considered by many to be cute
Though his wife begged to differ:
“His old wang was stiffer,
And its angle was much more acute”.
A juggler afflicted with gout
My ending was, “but his tail fills me right to the root.”
A juggler afflicted with gout,
could still hold up four bottles of stout.
A juggler afflicted with gout,
Could still hold up four bottles of stout.
But when one of them fell,
A juggler afflicted with gout,
Could still hold up four bottles of stout.
But when one of them fell,
The act went to Hell
Being an Antipodean, I’m am sleeping while most others of you are active. So, being mindful that I am always a few hours late (though actually 18 hours ahead), I have to say that it is great to see lateral comments of encouragement being made.
Sometimes, almost miraculously, some of these limericks turn out to be gems. Sometimes they don’t , of course - but what can you expect from something designed by a committee. Things certainly often take a twist completely different to what is anticipated - but this is the essence of a limerick, and the game in here, I think.
As an ‘aside’ of my own, I had this last line in mind a little way back (though the line which actually finished it was very good);
A bumbling tailor named Eddie
Had hands that were way too unsteady,
At an inseam one day
The stitches went astray
And his crotch got sewn to the teddy.
A juggler afflicted with gout,
Could still hold up four bottles of stout.
But when one of them fell,
The act went to Hell
'Cos it takes balls to throw glassware about.
Someone else may care to start a new one, if they wish -
A politician who traded in lies
A politician who traded in lies
Thought himself ever so wise
A politician who traded in lies
Thought himself ever so wise.
But all of his prattle
A politician who traded in lies
Thought himself ever so wise
But all of his prattle
About some girl from Seattle
A politician who traded in lies
Thought himself ever so wise
But all of his prattle
About some girl from Seattle
Overstated his pork-barrel size.
A strangler came calling last night
A strangler came calling last night
And gave a young woman a fright
A strangler came calling last night
And gave a young woman a fright;
His package was hung
A strangler came calling last night
And gave a young woman a fright;
His package was hung
And smelt of fresh dung
A strangler came calling last night
And gave a young woman a fright;
His package was hung
And smelt of fresh dung
She winced at such a putrid sight.
The strangler apologized for the smell
The strangler apologized for the smell.
He knew that his glands were not well
The strangler apologized for the smell.
He knew that his glands were not well
With his hands to her throat
The strangler apologized for the smell.
He knew that his glands were not well
With his hands to her throat
He said to her, quote: