Loopy Limericks

My girlfriend has eyes that are crossed.
When reading a poem by Frost

My girlfriend has eyes that are crossed.
When reading a poem by Frost
That’s ‘cos ’The Witch of Coös’

My girlfriend has eyes that are crossed.
When reading a poem by Frost
That’s ‘cos ’The Witch of Coös’
Drove her back to the sauce

My girlfriend has eyes that are crossed.
When reading a poem by Frost
That’s ‘cos ’The Witch of Coös’
Drove her back to the sauce
And whatever progress she made was lost

Don’t sleep on the next candidate

Don’t sleep on the next candidate
Unless you plan to somnambulate

Don’t sleep on the next candidate
Unless you plan to somnambulate
Through the oncoming years

Don’t sleep on the next candidate
Unless you plan to somnambulate
Through the oncoming years
Weeping bitter salt tears

-“BB”-

Don’t sleep on the next candidate
Unless you plan to somnambulate
Through the oncoming years
Weeping bitter salt tears
They’ll be in office till 2028.

Fox gave the boot to old Tucker

Fox gave the boot to old Tucker
For following orders! That poor old sucker

Fox gave the boot to old Tucker
For following orders! That poor old sucker
But the poisonous lies

Fox gave the boot to old Tucker
For following orders! That poor old sucker
But the poisonous lies
And puzzled eyes

Fox gave the boot to old Tucker
For following orders! That poor old sucker
But the poisonous lies
And puzzled eyes
Spelled doom for the miserable phucker.

(In case you missed it, Harry Belafonte passed away on Tuesday at the age of 96.)

It’s a very sad day for calypso –

-“BB”-

It’s a very sad day for calypso
Harry has sung his last “Day-O”

It’s a very sad day for calypso
Harry has sung his last “Day-O”
We know the Lord’s tally man

It’s a very sad day for calypso
Harry has sung his last “Day-O”
We know the Lord’s tally man
Will be heard in the valley, man

It’s a very sad day for calypso
Harry has sung his last “Day-O”
We know the Lord’s tally man
Will be heard in the valley, man
As we reverently each bend an elbow.

My computer has grown full of emails

My computer has grown full of emails
They appear on my screen as sea snails

My computer has grown full of emails.
They appear on my screen as sea snails.
Makes me miss idling fish

My computer has grown full of emails.
They appear on my screen as sea snails.
Makes me miss idling fish
Or toasters that swish

My computer has grown full of emails.
They appear on my screen as sea snails.
Makes me miss idling fish
Or toasters that swish
This workday’s gone right off the rails.

There was a young jockey called Pete