Loopy Limericks

As A-Rod was playing 3rd base,
He spied in the bleachers, the face
Of a girl he once did
Who now had a kid

As A-Rod was playing 3rd base,
He spied in the bleachers, the face
Of a girl he once did
Who now had a kid
Who was named by Joe Morgan, 'Dis Grace.
When Old Rocky fought his last fight

When Old Rocky fought his last fight
You couldn’t imagine his plight

When Old Rocky fought his last fight
You couldn’t imagine his plight.
Instead of a jab

When Old Rocky fought his last fight
You couldn’t imagine his plight.
Instead of a jab
To Old Cutter McNabb

When Old Rocky fought his last fight
You couldn’t imagine his plight.
Instead of a jab
To Old Cutter McNabb
The punch put him out like a light

From Nantucket there came a man

nm

From Nantucket there came a man
Who threw a harpoon at his gran.

From Nantucket there came a man
Who threw a harpoon at his gran.
And man, did she wail

From Nantucket there came a man
Who threw a harpoon at his gran.
And man, did she wail
Like a cat by the tail

From Nantucket there came a man
Who threw a harpoon at his gran.
And man, did she wail
Like a cat by the tail
As only a blubbery-puss can.
As a young lass I played fast and loose

As a young lass I played fast and loose
For every gander, I was a goose

As a young lass I played fast and loose
For every gander, I was a goose
But the cute little chick

As a young lass I played fast and loose
For every gander, I was a goose
But the cute little chick
With the seven-inch lick

As a young lass I played fast and loose
For every gander, I was a goose
But the cute little chick
With the seven-inch lick
Pleasured me in my little caboose.

When Elvis was hitting the booze

When Elvis was hitting the booze
He espoused some ridiculous views

When Elvis was hitting the booze
He espoused some ridiculous views:
"Sinatra’s a fairy,

When Elvis was hitting the booze
He espoused some ridiculous views:
"Sinatra’s a fairy,
A grapefruit’s a berry

When Elvis was hitting the booze
He espoused some ridiculous views:
“Sinatra’s a fairy,
A grapefruit’s a berry
And blue suede makes terrible shoes.”

Abe Lincoln, the splitter of rails

Applause