Loopy Limericks

Abe Lincoln, the splitter of rails
Won’t go into all the details

Abe Lincoln, the splitter of rails
Won’t go into all the details
But once in a stupor

Abe Lincoln, the splitter of rails
Won’t go into all the details.
But once in a stupor
Proposed to a goober

Abe Lincoln, the splitter of rails
Won’t go into all the details.
But once in a stupor
Proposed to a goober
He’d trade Mary for a handful of nails.
An air-headed follower of fashion

An air-headed follower of fashion
One day succombed to her passion

An air-headed follower of fashion
One day succumbed to her passion
For wearing red socks

An air-headed follower of fashion
One day succumbed to her passion
For wearing red socks
On her curly red locks

An air-headed follower of fashion
One day succumbed to her passion
For wearing red socks
On her curly red locks
While a dominatrix gave her a thrashin’.
I once played a girl with a racquet

I once played a girl with a racquet
She’d serve me an egg and I’d crack it.

I once played a girl with a racquet
She’d serve me an egg and I’d crack it
The yolk I would throw

I once played a girl with a racquet
She’d serve me an egg and I’d crack it.
The yolk I would throw
And hope that she’d know

I once played a girl with a racquet
She’d serve me an egg and I’d crack it.
The yolk I would throw
And hope that she’d know
I like my spuds served in their jacket.

A stripper was climbing her pole,

A stripper was climbing her pole
At an angle that showed off her mole

A stripper was climbing her pole
At an angle that showed off her mole
The patrons all swooned

A stripper was climbing her pole
At an angle that showed off her mole.
The patrons all swooned
But the stunt was just ruined

A stripper was climbing her pole
At an angle that showed off her mole.
The patrons all swooned
But the stunt was just ruined
When a fireman slid down through the hole.
A gorilla walked into a diner

A gorilla walked into a diner
Said the waitress, "Who gave you the shiner? "

A gorilla walked into a diner
Said the waitress, "Who gave you the shiner? "
"I know I look bad

A gorilla walked into a diner
Said the waitress, "Who gave you the shiner? "
"I know I look bad
But who really looks sad

A gorilla walked into a diner
Said the waitress, "Who gave you the shiner? "
“I know I look bad
But who really looks sad
Is the monkey with too much eyeliner”

A woman I know was arrested