Loopy Limericks

In a galaxy far far away
Where sexual freedom holds sway
A whore triple-breasted
With a merkin that was crested

In a galaxy far far away
Where sexual freedom holds sway
A whore triple-breasted
With a merkin that was crested
Allows both hands and mouth to play.

I loved going to the skating rink

I loved going to the skating rink
Until I bumped into Bob, that rat fink

I loved going to the skating rink
Until I bumped into Bob, that rat fink!
He did a toe stop, then twirled

-“BB”-

I loved going to the skating rink
Until I bumped into Bob, that rat fink!
He did a toe stop, then twirled
His protest banner unfurled

I loved going to the skating rink
Until I bumped into Bob, that rat fink!
He did a toe stop, then twirled
His protest banner unfurled
And it told me to stop wearing mink.

One thing that I always told Mom

One thing that I always told Mom
“When seeing your doctor, stay calm”

One thing that I always told Mom
“When seeing your doctor, stay calm”
“Not all bunions are tumors”

One thing that I always told Mom
“When seeing your doctor, stay calm”
“Not all bunions are tumors”
“Ignore doom and gloomers”

One thing that I always told Mom
“When seeing your doctor, stay calm”
“Not all bunions are tumors”
“Ignore doom and gloomers”
“And never use condoms from Guam.”

I’m getting a cramp in my hand

I’m getting a cramp in my hand
From indulging too much in my gland

“I’m getting a cramp in my hand
from indulging too much in my gland”.

It’s not 'cuz it’s big

“I’m getting a cramp in my hand
from indulging too much in my gland”.

It’s not 'cuz it’s big
Sperm production’s my gig

“I’m getting a cramp in my hand
from indulging too much in my gland”.
It’s not 'cuz it’s big
Sperm production’s my gig
I have 3.3 million kids planned


There are those who think I am mad

“There are those who think I am mad”
And then meet my wife who is trad

“There are those who think I am mad”
And then meet my wife who is trad
She cleans and she cooks

“There are those who think I am mad”
And then meet my wife who is trad
She cleans and she cooks
But reads dirty books

There are those who think I am mad
And then meet my wife who is trad
She cleans and she cooks
But reads dirty books
All about a hot stud named Chad

You know what they say 'bout girls named Stacy

You know what they say 'bout girls named Stacy
Their behavior is often quite racy

You know what they say 'bout girls named Stacy?
Their behavior is often quite racy.
Their dresses are quirky