Loopy Limericks

The maestro last night split his pants
As he bowed to the packed audience
A great wind he did break

The maestro last night split his pants
As he bowed to the packed audience
A great wind he did break
And the score he did shake

The maestro last night split his pants
As he bowed to the packed audience
A great wind he did break
And the score he did shake -
But it’s just how they play it in France.
My Mother once told me she knew

My Mother once told me she knew
How to build a duct tape canoe

My Mother once told me she knew
How to build a duct tape canoe
I said “Prove it Mum”

My Mother once told me she knew
How to build a duct tape canoe
I said “Prove it Mum”
And she did, by gum

My Mother once told me she knew
How to build a duct tape canoe
I said “Prove it Mum”
And she did, by gum
Although she painted it a queer shade of blue.

The Particle Physicist said to the Priest,

The Particle Physicist said to the Priest,
“It is time all religions were ceased.”

The Particle Physicist said to the Priest,
“It is time all religions were ceased.”
If God does exist

The Particle Physicist said to the Priest,
"It is time all religions were ceased.
If God does exist
Then, top of his list

The Particle Physicist said to the Priest,
“It is time all religions were ceased.
If God does exist
Then, top of his list…”
A lightning bolt struck- he’s deceased.
As Satan was strolling through Hades,

As Satan was strolling through Hades,
On the lookout for stray fallen ladies.

As Satan was strolling through Hades,
On the lookout for stray fallen ladies.
And during this walk

Oops. Let’s make that last line a little more grammatical:

As Satan was strolling through Hades,
On the lookout for stray fallen ladies.
He halted his walk

As Satan was strolling through Hades,
On the lookout for stray fallen ladies.
He halted his walk
When he smelt roast pork

As Satan was strolling through Hades,
On the lookout for stray fallen ladies.
He halted his walk
When he smelt roast pork
Eaten by Thelma and the Sadies.
Way out in the wild, wild West

As Satan was strolling through Hades,
On the lookout for stray fallen ladies.
He halted his walk
When he smelt roast pork
And saw the gals doing palate-ees

The tired old mayor from Frankfurt

Ninja’d!
Way out in the wild, wild West
There aren’t many men well-dressed

Way out in the wild, wild West
There aren’t many men well-dressed.
And buffalo roam

Way out in the wild, wild West
There aren’t many men well-dressed.
And buffalo roam
Right through your home