Loopy Limericks

My brother Wilbur is dating a pig
It has dimples and wears a blonde wig
His poor heart’s been achin’

My brother Wilbur is dating a pig
It has dimples and wears a blonde wig
His poor heart’s been achin’
For some maple glazed bacon

My brother Wilbur is dating a pig
It has dimples and wears a blonde wig
His poor heart’s been achin’
For some maple glazed bacon
and he’s sick of the truffles they dig


My boyfriends are Tom, Dick and Harry

My boyfriends are Tom, Dick and Harry
I cannot decide which one to marry

My boyfriends are Tom, Dick and Harry
I cannot decide which one to marry
Tom is too tall

My boyfriends are Tom, Dick and Harry
I cannot decide which one to marry
Tom is too tall
Dick is too quick to bawl

My boyfriends are Tom, Dick and Harry
I cannot decide which one to marry
Tom is too tall
Dick is too quick to bawl
And Harry’s so hairy it’s scary


I found a blue cat in Kalamazoo

My boyfriends are Tom, Dick and Harry
I cannot decide which one to marry
Tom is too tall
Dick is too quick to bawl
And Harry well he talks like a canary


Bigfoot, Yeti, and Nessie were eating lunch

I found a blue cat in Kalamazoo
He likes now and then to play the kazoo

I found a blue cat in Kalamazoo
He likes now and then to play the kazoo
The same tune each time

clap clap clap

I found a blue cat in Kalamazoo
He likes now and then to play the kazoo
The same tune each time
And it has just one rhyme

I found a blue cat in Kalamazoo
He likes now and then to play the kazoo
The same tune each time
And it has just one rhyme
I wish he’d find something else too do

Betty Sue dances alone at night

I found a blue cat in Kalamazoo
He likes now and then to play the kazoo
The same tune each time
And it has just one rhyme
I’m a cat who is Blue. Too-ra-loo too-ra-loo


I shaved my chinchilla, I do not know why

Betty Sue dances alone at night
She often invites me but my pants are too tight

Betty Sue dances alone at night
She often invites me but my pants are too tight
And my zipper is stuck

Betty Sue dances alone at night
She often invites me but my pants are too tight
And my zipper is stuck
Just my damn luck

Betty Sue dances alone at night
She often invites me but my pants are too tight
And my zipper is stuck
Just my damn luck
So she dumped me for Hoss Cartwright


Bigfoot, Yeti, and Nessie were eating lunch

Bigfoot, Yeti, and Nessie were eating lunch
Yeti complained that the celery didn’t crunch

Bigfoot, Yeti, and Nessie were eating lunch
Yeti complained that the celery didn’t crunch
Nessie had spaghetti. The noodles? Limp.

I think we lost the traditional meter of the limerick, but I’ll play anyway…

Bigfoot, Yeti, and Nessie were eating lunch
Yeti complained that the celery didn’t crunch
Nessie had spaghetti. The noodles? Limp.
While Bigfoot dined on Szechuan shrimp.

-“BB”-