Loopy Limericks

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5890

My back yard is swamped with oxalis.
It’s over-running my plots of Sweet Alice
It brings me to tears

5891

My back yard is swamped with oxalis.
It’s over-running my plots of Sweet Alice
It brings me to tears
To hear said dears scream their fears

5892

My back yard is swamped with oxalis.
It’s over-running my plots of Sweet Alice
It brings me to tears
To hear said dears scream their fears
and my heart is filled with malice

I got stones, both kidney and gall

5893

I got stones, both kidney and gall
So much pain from something so small!

5894

I got stones, both kidney and gall
So much pain from something so small!
It’s like they have corners

–

–

(The surgeon gave me my gallstones. They looked like DnD dice. I swear one was a d4.)

5895

I got stones, both kidney and gall
So much pain from something so small!
It’s like they have corners
There are no worse tortures

5896

I got stones, both kidney and gall
So much pain from something so small!
It’s like they have corners
There are no worse tortures
So I’ll give a surgeon a call.

The IT desk has me on hold

5897

The IT desk has me on hold.
And I’m trying to fight a head cold

5898

The IT desk has me on hold.
And I’m trying to fight a head cold
While my hard drive melts down

5899

The IT desk has me on hold.
And I’m trying to fight a head cold
While my hard drive melts down
I can’t help but frown

5900

The IT desk has me on hold.
And I’m trying to fight a head cold
While my hard drive melts down
I can’t help but frown
If it gets any worse I’ll explode

My sister’s current boyfriend has lice

5901

My sister’s current boyfriend has lice
And his bedroom is infested with mice

5902

My sister’s current boyfriend has lice
And his bedroom is infested with mice
When his praises are sung

5903

My sister’s current boyfriend has lice
And his bedroom is infested with mice
When his praises are sung
I conclude he must be well hung

5904

My sister’s current boyfriend has lice
And his bedroom is infested with mice
When his praises are sung
I conclude he must be well hung
'Cuz everything else about him ain’t nice

For my wife’s birthday I make carrot cake

5905

For my wife’s birthday I make carrot cake
But the carrots I use are quite fake

5906

For my wife’s birthday I make carrot cake
But the carrots I use are quite fake.
They’re butterscotch chips

5907

For my wife’s birthday I make carrot cake
But the carrots I use are quite fake.
They’re butterscotch chips
and fingertips

5908

For my wife’s birthday I make carrot cake
But the carrots I use are quite fake.
They’re butterscotch chips
and fingertips
It’s still the best thing that I make

My phone battery’s now very low

5909

My phone battery’s now very low
And my web browsing’s getting quite slow