The pox-doctor’s clerk was impressed
By the way I resisted arrest
I applied Vaseline
And supplied gasoline
And subsequently passed ev’ry test.
A ballerina here from the Ukraine
A ballerina here from the Ukraine
Found her tutu had a terrible stain
A ballerina here from the Ukraine
Found her tutu had a terrible stain.
Although she’s disputin’
A ballerina here from the Ukraine
Found her tutu had a terrible stain.
Although she’s disputin’
that Vladimir Putin
A ballerina here from the Ukraine
Found her tutu had a terrible stain.
Although she’s disputin’
that Vladimir Putin
Had been there that night on the train.
There was an old monk from the Cape
There was an old monk from the Cape
Who went out to dinner with an ape
There was an old monk from the Cape
Who went out to dinner with an ape.
They’d only said grace
There was an old monk from the Cape
Who went out to dinner with an ape.
They’d only said grace
At Martha Vineyard’s place
There was an old monk from the Cape
Who went out to dinner with an ape.
They’d only said grace
At Martha Vineyard’s place
When they each hatched a plan to escape
I really don’t like playing soccer
I really don’t like playing soccer.
And don’t want to sound like a ‘knocker’.
I really don’t like playing soccer.
And don’t want to sound like a ‘knocker’.
But kicking my balls
I really don’t like playing soccer.
And don’t want to sound like a ‘knocker’.
But kicking my balls,
Like happens in brawls
I really don’t like playing soccer.
And don’t want to sound like a ‘knocker’.
But kicking my balls,
Like happens in brawls
Makes me flop on the ground like Joe Cocker.
The senator said with aplomb
The senator said with aplomb
“My sex-life’s a ticking time-bomb!”
The senator said with aplomb
“My sex-life’s a ticking time-bomb!”
Then the pictures came out
nm
The senator said with aplomb
“My sex-life’s a ticking time-bomb!”
Then the pictures came out,
Of his ‘girl’ with a snout
The senator said with aplomb
“My sex-life’s a ticking time-bomb!”
Then the pictures came out,
Of his ‘girl’ with a snout
It’s a pig, in a wig, on a dong!
Private Mulligan never did dally
Private Mulligan never did dally
In mounting his mustang, named Sally
Private Mulligan never did dally
In mounting his mustang, named Sally.
Ev’ry night he was able