Loopy Limericks

How many peanuts can Barry eat?
As a trencherman, he is elite
Laughs at 100 pies

How many peanuts can Barry eat?
As a trencherman, he is elite
Laughs at 100 pies
Inhales chicken thighs

How many peanuts can Barry eat?
As a trencherman, he is elite
Laughs at 100 pies
Inhales chicken thighs
But balks at those fried chicken feet.

My aunt got a terrible shock

My aunt got a terrible shock
Her car’s brakes were not antilock

My aunt got a terrible shock
Her car’s brakes were not antilock
She fell off a cliff

My aunt got a terrible shock
Her car’s brakes were not antilock
She fell off a cliff
And wasn’t saved by her diff

My aunt got a terrible shock
Her car’s brakes were not antilock
She fell off a cliff
And wasn’t saved by her diff
Now she’s dead as a rock.

The gym asked old Mr. Jones to leave

The gym asked old Mr. Jones to leave
'cuz he did something nasty to Steve

The gym asked old Mr. Jones to leave
'cuz he did something nasty to Steve
His balls were so sweaty

The gym asked old Mr. Jones to leave
'cuz he did something nasty to Steve
His balls were so sweaty
Like those of a Yeti

The gym asked old Mr. Jones to leave
'cuz he did something nasty to Steve
His balls were so sweaty
Like those of a Yeti
What happened is hard to believe

——————————————-

Abigail has a thing for men’s feet

Abigail has a thing for men’s feet
She’ll dip them in honey so they’re sweet

Abigail has a thing for men’s feet
She’ll dip them in honey so they’re sweet
and gnaw on the nails

Abigail has a thing for men’s feet
She’ll dip them in honey so they’re sweet
And gnaw on the nails
Their aroma she inhales

Abigail has a thing for men’s feet
She’ll dip them in honey so they’re sweet
And gnaw on the nails
Their aroma she inhales
A thick callus is an after lunch treat!


Red Rover, Red Rover send Bill Murray over

Red Rover, Red Rover send Bill Murray over
Because he’ll hunt gophers in the clover

Red Rover, Red Rover send Bill Murray over
Because he’ll hunt gophers in the clover
Or perhaps he’ll get slimed

Red Rover, Red Rover send Bill Murray over
Because he’ll hunt gophers in the clover
Or perhaps he’ll get slimed
And live a day many times

Red Rover, Red Rover send Bill Murray over
Because he’ll hunt gophers in the clover
Or perhaps he’ll get slimed
And live a day many times
A Not-Ready-For-Prime-Time-Player, moreover


George spends too much time writing limericks

George spends too much time writing limericks
Searching thesauruses for rhymes to affix