Loopy Limericks

Little Timmy stuck a peanut up his nose
His mother sighed, “That’s how it goes!”

[Foot, put, and nut all rhyme?]


Little Timmy stuck a peanut up his nose
His mother sighed, “That’s how it goes!”
When the plant started growing

[Let him who is without sin… ]

Little Timmy stuck a peanut up his nose
His mother sighed, “That’s how it goes!”
When the plant started growing
and his nose needed blowing

Little Timmy stuck a peanut up his nose
His mother sighed, “That’s how it goes!”
When the plant started growing
and his nose needed blowing
That was the beginning of his woes.

Frank’s mind was blown by what he saw

Frank’s mind was blown by what he saw
Conway Twitty crooning on Hee Haw

Frank’s mind was blown by what he saw
Conway Twitty crooning on Hee Haw
“Hello Darlin’” was his jam

Frank’s mind was blown by what he saw
Conway Twitty crooning on Hee Haw
“Hello Darlin’” was his jam
And the “Darlin’” was his lamb

Frank’s mind was blown by what he saw
Conway Twitty crooning on Hee Haw
“Hello Darlin’” was his jam
And the “Darlin’” was his lamb
To say more would be breaking the law
——————————-
The end is near, you know it’s true

The end is near, you know it’s true
The human race is kaput, we’re through

The end is near, you know it’s true
The human race is kaput, we’re through
All hope is lost

The end is near, you know it’s true
The human race is kaput, we’re through
All hope is lost.
Cannibal holocaust

The end is near, you know it’s true
The human race is kaput, we’re through
All hope is lost.
Cannibal holocaust
It’s been swell while it lasted. Adieu
—————-

My wife has a sister in Detroit

My wife has a sister in Detroit
Who with knives is really quite adroit

My wife has a sister in Detroit,
Who with knives is really quite adroit.
She can fillet a halibut

-“BB”-

My wife has a sister in Detroit,
Who with knives is really quite adroit.
She can fillet a halibut
And remove your left nut

My wife has a sister in Detroit,
Who with knives is really quite adroit.
She can fillet a halibut
And remove your left nut.
But that’s not her greatest exploit.

Giraffes don’t do necking for fun

Giraffes don’t do necking for fun
It’s a battle to maim, kill or stun

Giraffes don’t do necking for fun
It’s a battle to maim, kill or stun
But at noon it’s time for tea

Giraffes don’t do necking for fun
It’s a battle to maim, kill, or stun
But at noon it’s time for tea
And to treat their injuries

-“BB”-

Giraffes don’t do necking for fun
It’s a battle to maim, kill, or stun
But at noon it’s time for tea
And to treat their injuries
While chatting up the local nun

The elephant has quite a trunk