Loopy Limericks

These days Jack lives a life of leisure
His remaining days too few to measure
Croquet and golf no longer enthral
So to a brothel he’ll call
So nice when the family’s together.

Uphill Sisyphus must push that rock

Uphill Sisyphus must push that rock
And it rolls back down to no one’s shock

Uphill Sisyphus must push that rock
And it rolls back down to no one’s shock
Rolls it uphill again

Uphill Sisyphus must push that rock
And it rolls back down to no one’s shock
Rolls it uphill again
Some days hell, some days zen–
Just as Greek as a crane or a clock!

Yesterday or tomorrow no jam

Yesterday or tomorrow no jam
Nor a single can to be seen of Spam

Yesterday or tomorrow no jam
Nor a single can to be seen of Spam
Because of the tariffs

Yesterday or tomorrow no jam
Nor a single can to be seen of Spam
Because of the tariffs
But of course they blamed Harris

Yesterday or tomorrow no jam
Nor a single can to be seen of Spam
Because of the tariffs
But of course they blamed Harris
Does that mean I’m upset? Yes I am!

My neighbour has twenty six cats

My neighbour has twenty six cats
And for each he’s adorned twenty six hats

My neighbour has twenty six cats
And for each he’s adorned twenty six hat
And 26 pairs of boots

My neighbour has twenty six cats
And for each he’s adorned twenty six hat
And 26 pairs of boots
They’re just little beauts

My neighbour has twenty six cats
And for each he’s adorned twenty six hat
And 26 pairs of boots
They’re just little beauts
Except they never chase the rats


My dog Napoleon is not quite sane

My dog Napoleon is not quite sane
His plan is to invade North Spain

My dog Napoleon is not quite sane.
His plan is to invade North Spain.
He’ll ride a Dalmatian

My dog Napoleon is not quite sane.
His plan is to invade North Spain.
He’ll ride a Dalmatian
And command an Alsatian

My dog Napoleon is not quite sane.
His plan is to invade North Spain.
He’ll ride a Dalmatian
And command an Alsatian
And over the Petsmart he shall reign


No beer and no TV make Homer go something

No beer and no TV make Homer go something
We’re pretty sure he will do a dumb thing

No beer and no TV make Homer go something
We’re pretty sure he will do a dumb thing
His Limericks don’t scan