Loopy Limericks

Cockroaches are my favorite vermin
I don’t think this rates a big sermon!

Cockroaches are my favorite vermin
I don’t think this rates a big sermon
I just think they’re cute

Cockroaches are my favorite vermin
I don’t think this rates a big sermon
I just think they’re cute
As they skitter and scoot

Cockroaches are my favorite vermin
I don’t think this rates a big sermon
I just think they’re cute
As they skitter and scoot
While commentated by Chris Berman

One day as I went for a stroll

One day as I went for a stroll
I tripped on a magnetic pole

One day as I went for a stroll
I tripped on a magnetic pole
Lambasted by longitude

One day as I went for a stroll
I tripped on a magnetic pole
Lambasted by longitude
what’s left of my schlong, it would

One day as I went for a stroll
I tripped on a magnetic pole
Lambasted by longitude
what’s left of my schlong, it would
Now point to the nearest wet hole.

This prize aubergine that I grew

This prize aubergine that I grew
Could feed a small town – maybe two!

This prize aubergine that I grew
Could feed a small town – maybe two!
The reason it’s so big

This prize aubergine that I grew
Could feed a small town – maybe two!
The reason it’s so big
As I grew it from a spring

This prize aubergine that I grew
Could feed a small town – maybe two!
The reason it’s so big
As I grew it from a spring
Is not pegged to its deep purple hue!

Our wayward Commander in Chief

Our wayward Commander in Chief
Enjoys the mistaken belief

Our wayward Commander in Chief
Enjoys the mistaken belief
That his anus is God

Our wayward Commander in Chief
Enjoys the mistaken belief
That his anus is God
His pronouncements are odd

Our wayward Commander in Chief
Enjoys the mistaken belief
That his anus is God
His pronouncements are odd
And his prayers smell like maggoty beef.

Her knickers were all in the wash

Her knickers were all in the wash
So she went out without them by gosh.

Her knickers were all in the wash
So she went out without them by gosh
After a dozen car crashes

Her knickers were all in the wash
So she went out without them by gosh
After a dozen car crashes
She caused with her flashes

Her knickers were all in the wash
So she went out without them by gosh
After a dozen car crashes
She caused with her flashes
Yet her antics few wanted to quash

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I chopped off my right middle finger