Loopy Limericks

Naked I came from my mother’s womb
But my twin she came from the tomb
Dead though she was
I loved her because

Naked I came from my mother’s womb
But my twin she came from the tomb
Dead though she was
I loved her because
It could have been me doomed to gloom!

It’s hard to find rhymes for Enron

It’s hard to find rhymes for Enron.
It sort of rhymes with ‘rhododendron’ –

-“BB”-

It’s hard to find rhymes for Enron.
It sort of rhymes with ‘rhododendron’ –
But all’s for the best

It’s hard to find rhymes for Enron.
It sort of rhymes with ‘rhododendron’ –
But all’s for the best
and who’ll be impressed

It’s hard to find rhymes for Enron.
It sort of rhymes with ‘rhododendron’ –
But all’s for the best
and who’ll be impressed
With such a weak rhyme to end on.

I’m going to Old Sacramento

I’m going to Old Sacramento
With nothing but Coke and a Mento.

I’m going to Old Sacramento
With nothing but Coke and a Mento.
Plus my wife’s ashes

I’m going to Old Sacramento
With nothing but Coke and a Mento.
Plus my wife’s ashes
And her glittery eyelashes

I’m going to Old Sacramento
With nothing but Coke and a Mento.
Plus my wife’s ashes
And her glittery eyelashes
And an olive, a pea, and a pimento

Little Johnny got detention again

Little Johnny got detention again
He’ll be released who-knows-when

Little Johnny got detention again
He’ll be released who-knows-when
You should know that his crime

Little Johnny got detention again
He’ll be released who-knows-when
You should know that his crime
Seemed real bad at the time

Little Johnny got detention again
He’ll be released who-knows-when
You should know that his crime
Seemed real bad at the time
He should spend 5 to 10 in the pen


My gal Daisy is really a hoot

My gal Daisy is really a hoot
Give her some beans and she’ll give a toot

My gal Daisy is really a hoot
Give her some beans and she’ll give a toot
While she does a cartwheel

My gal Daisy is really a hoot
Give her some beans and she’ll give a toot
While she does a cartwheel
She emits a little squeal

My gal Daisy is really a hoot
Give her some beans and she’ll give a toot
While she does a cartwheel
She emits a little squeal
and belches the star spangled banner to boot

———————————

I once dated a bear that could dance

I once dated a bear that could dance
We’d get looks you’d describe as ‘askance’

I once dated a bear that could dance
We’d get looks you’d describe as ‘askance’
But when to her I proposed