Loopy Limericks

Thread Games
7030

I was told I need to touch grass
So I sat on it with my bare ass
The lush, greeny turf

7031

I was told I need to touch grass
So I sat on it with my bare ass
The lush, greeny turf
–Wait! that’s Astro-- or Nerf!

7032

I was told I need to touch grass
So I sat on it with my bare ass
The lush, greeny turf
–Wait! that’s Astro-- or Nerf!
At any rate it gave me a rash

I don’t trust anyone younger than me

7033

I don’t trust anyone younger than me
Ever since I turned seventy three

7034

I don’t trust anyone younger than me
Ever since I turned seventy three
Now it’s “Git off ma lawn!”

7035

I don’t trust anyone younger than me
Ever since I turned seventy three
Now it’s “Git off ma lawn!”
and from dusk until dawn

7036

I don’t trust anyone younger than me
Ever since I turned seventy three
Now it’s “Git off ma lawn!”
and from dusk until dawn
I eat nothing but mushy green peas

There once was a spider named Legs

7037

There once was a spider named Legs.
She prodigiously produced spider eggs.

7038

There once was a spider named Legs.
She prodigiously produced spider eggs
Which she fried over easy

7039

There once was a spider named Legs.
She prodigiously produced spider eggs
Which she fried over easy
That made her husband queasy

7040

There once was a spider named Legs.
She prodigiously produced spider eggs
Which she fried over easy
That made her husband queasy
As he had to settle for the dregs

My girlfriend has legs up to here

7041

My girlfriend has legs up to here
(That is to say, up to her rear)

7042

My girlfriend has legs up to here
(That is to say, up to her rear)
So when she puts on high heels

7043

My girlfriend has legs up to here
(That is to say, up to her rear)
So when she puts on high heels
My libido, it reels!

7044

My girlfriend has legs up to here
(That is to say, up to her rear)
So when she puts on high heels
My libido, it reels!
Fortunately, for her I have the gear

Nothing beats shifting six on the floor

7045

Nothing beats shifting six on the floor
If I could I’d even shift a few more

7046

Nothing beats shifting six on the floor
If I could I’d even shift a few more
How I wish an EV

7047

Nothing beats shifting six on the floor
If I could I’d even shift a few more
How I wish an EV
Could be so speedy

7048

Nothing beats shifting six on the floor
If I could I’d even shift a few more
How I wish an EV
Could be so speedy
As a Tesla blows by (sans the roar)

————————————————
My testicles hang down to my knees

7049

My testicles hang down to my knees
And I can tell the water is 33 degrees