Loopy Limericks

I like to eat handfuls of Grape Nuts
And rub them on my fake nose and fake butts
I refuse to be judged
Nor be discouraged

I like to eat handfuls of Grape Nuts
And rub them on my fake nose and fake butts
I refuse to be judged
Nor be discouraged

Sharing of my quirks just takes guts

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I live on a potato-chip-a-day diet

I live on a potato-chip-a-day diet

I slice a potato and fry it

I live on a potato-chip-a-day diet

I slice a potato and fry it

A pinch of salt

I live on a potato-chip-a-day diet
I slice a potato and fry it
A pinch of salt
A little malt

I live on a potato-chip-a-day diet
I slice a potato and fry it
A pinch of salt
A little malt
It’s so good you really should try it

Jim sat at the poker table

Jim sat at the poker table
His bluffing was quite formid-able.

Jim sat at the poker table

His bluffing was quite formid-able

His one fatal tell

Jim sat at the poker table
His bluffing was quite formid-able
His one fatal tell
Is his nose turns pastel


[Quick heads-up: the old posting settings can be regained by toggling the Big A in the upper left-hand corner, which will also eliminate the spurious space after a hard return.]

Jim sat at the poker table
His bluffing was quite formid-able
His one fatal tell
Is his nose turns pastel
If he has a royal flush, it turns sable

Patsy ate a gallon of ice cream

Patsy ate a gallon of ice cream;
Fell asleep, and he had a bad dream.

Patsy ate a gallon of ice cream;
Fell asleep, and he had a bad dream.
That the ice cream had melted

Patsy ate a gallon of ice cream;
Fell asleep, and he had a bad dream.
That the ice cream had melted
On tires, double belted

Patsy ate a gallon of ice cream;
Fell asleep, and he had a bad dream.
That the ice cream had melted
On tires, double belted
and then woke with a hideous scream


The tooth fairy is ripping me off

The tooth fairy is ripping me off
When I show her a molar, she’ll scoff

The tooth fairy is ripping me off
When I show her a molar, she’ll scoff
“That’s worth a dime, no more”

The tooth fairy is ripping me off
When I show her a molar, she’ll scoff
“That’s worth a dime, no more”
Smirked that gossamer whore!

The tooth fairy is ripping me off
When I show her a molar, she’ll scoff
“That’s worth a dime, no more”
Smirked that gossamer whore!
And pitched bicuspids and all in a trough

Don’t give me none of your lip

Don’t give me none of your lip
I have zero interest in your drip

Don’t give me none of your lip
I have zero interest in your drip
If you need a tissue