Loopy Limericks

The old monster films Universal
Were always doomed upon rehearsal
But I prefer Hammer

The old monster films Universal
Were always doomed upon rehearsal
But I prefer Hammer
My wife does not (damn her)

The old monster films Universal
Were always doomed upon rehearsal
But I prefer Hammer
Despite all the hmm-- er–

(Continuing from @2_More_Bits):

The old monster films Universal
Were always doomed upon rehearsal
But I prefer Hammer
My wife does not (damn her)
She claims they’re all ‘over-commercial’.

I once met a vampire called Fred

I once met a vampire called Fred
Who to a mummy was once wed

I once met a vampire called Fred
Who to a mummy was once wed
It only lasted a week

I once met a vampire called Fred
Who to a mummy was once wed
It only lasted a week
Made his coffin squeak

I once met a vampire called Fred
Who to a mummy was once wed
It only lasted a week
Made his coffin squeak
I am glad all involved are now dead!

Veterans’ Day, next week, will be upon us

Veterans’ Day, next week, will be upon us
Lads in alphas all look like Adonis

Veterans’ Day, next week, will be upon us
Lads in alphas all look like Adonis
Marching to the cadence

Veterans’ Day, next week, will be upon us
Lads in alphas all look like Adonis
Marching to the cadence
In solemn remembrance

Veterans’ Day, next week, will be upon us
Lads in alphas all look like Adonis
Marching to the cadence
In solemn remembrance
Unless they’re trying to con us


Gramps just turned one hundred and three

Gramps just turned one hundred and three
His head is a place where the wind blows free

Gramps just turned one hundred and three
His head is a place where the wind blows free
But he’s strong as an ox

Gramps just turned one hundred and three
His head is a place where the wind blows free
But he’s strong as an ox
Still works down the docks

Gramps just turned one hundred and three
His head is a place where the wind blows free
But he’s strong as an ox
Still works down the docks
and for lunch sips a bowl of green tea
—————————————
My gal shaves her legs with hatchet

My gal shaves her legs with hatchet
If she were a cold, I would catch it!

My gal shaves her legs with hatchet
If she were a cold, I would catch it!
I’d drive a million miles

My gal shaves her legs with hatchet
If she were a cold, I would catch it!
I’d drive a million miles
Shop each mega-store’s aisles

My gal shaves her legs with hatchet
If she were a cold, I would catch it!
I’d drive a million miles
Shop each mega-store’s aisles
Just to buy her a shiny new ratchet

While going spelunking in Utah