Loopy Limericks

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8330

A very small child one time told me
“I’ll scream and poop my pants if you scold me”
With a withering glare,

8331

A very small child one time told me
“I’ll scream and poop my pants if you scold me”
With a withering glare,
I passed noxious air

8332

A very small child one time told me
“I’ll scream and poop my pants if you scold me”
With a withering glare,
I passed noxious air
and thereafter she refused to hold me

The end is near, my wife just said

8333

The end is near, my wife just said
It’s been 50 years since we were wed

8334

The end is near, my wife just said
It’s been 50 years since we were wed
But I’m just twenty-three

8335

The end is near, my wife just said
It’s been 50 years since we were wed
But I’m just twenty-three
And beginning to see

8336

The end is near, my wife just said
It’s been 50 years since we were wed
But I’m just twenty-three
And beginning to see
That time travel really fucks with my head

I went back in time to hunt a t-rex

8337

I went back in time to hunt a t-rex
And some of those things with long necks

8338

I went back in time to hunt a t-rex
And some of those things with long necks
All I bagged was a rat

8339

I went back in time to hunt a t-rex
And some of those things with long necks
All I bagged was a rat
And DNA in a gnat

8340

I went back in time to hunt a t-rex
And some of those things with long necks
All I bagged was a rat
And DNA in a gnat
And our time machines are total wrecks!

Like Shatner, I pace out my words

8341

Like Shatner, I pace out my words
And act quite superior to nerds

8342

Like Shatner, I pace out my words
And act quite superior to nerds
I. Speak. With. Em. Pha. Sis.

8343

Like Shatner, I pace out my words
And act quite superior to nerds
I. Speak. With. Em. Pha. Sis.
But often when taking a piss

8344

Like Shatner, I pace out my words
And act quite superior to nerds
I. Speak. With. Em. Pha. Sis.
But often when taking a piss
I sing sweeter than all of the birds

In a former life I was a king

8345

In a former life I was a king
Making burgers with an onion ring

8346

In a former life I was a king
Making burgers with an onion ring
But was gypped by that dumb clown

8347

In a former life I was a king
Making burgers with an onion ring
But was gypped by that dumb clown
Now I’m twenty bucks down

8348

In a former life I was a king
Making burgers with an onion ring
But was gypped by that dumb clown
Now I’m twenty bucks down
Would you like fries with that chicken wing?

I think I’ve been catfished online

8349

I think I’ve been catfished online
To be honest, I really don’t mind