Loopy Limericks

I once took a bath with my granny,
And found out that she was a tranny.
Then we lost the soap
And I grabbed it (I hope)
After searching ev’ry last nook and granny.
Way down south where the buds are all poppin’

Way down south where the buds are all poppin’
Paula Deen is making dessert toppin’

Way down south where the buds are all poppin’
Paula Deen is making dessert toppin’
Though she cut out the sugar

Way down south where the buds are all poppin’
Paula Deen is making dessert toppin’.
Though she cut out the sugar
And should not have used nougat

Way down south where the buds are all poppin’
Paula Deen is making dessert toppin’.
Though she cut out the sugar
And should not have used nougat
Her blood sugar number is whoppin’

Your mother’s so big, they say

Your mother’s so big, they say
She’s right off the scale, in a weigh.

Your mother’s so big, they say
She’s right off the scale, in a weigh
Her flab is astounding

Your mother’s so big, they say
She’s right off the scale, in a weigh
Her flab is astounding
Her flesh is a-pounding

Your mother’s so big, they say
She’s right off the scale, in a weigh
Her flab is astounding
Her flesh is a-pounding
And her odor attracts birds of prey.
There was an old man from Bombay

There was an old man from Bombay
Who fashioned a pudenda of clay

grin

There was an old man from Bombay,
Who fashioned a pudenda of clay.
But it wasn’t much fun

There was an old man from Bombay,
Who fashioned a pudenda of clay.
But it wasn’t much fun -
Turned to bisque in the sun,

There was an old man from Bombay
Who fashioned a pudenda of clay
But it wasn’t much fun
Turned to bisque in the sun
And never again did it sway

When in Spain, I didn’t fit in

When in Spain, I didn’t fit in
I found, to my utter chagrin

When in Spain, I didn’t fit in.
I found, to my utter chagrin
That El Toro, somehow

When in Spain, I didn’t fit in.
I found, to my utter chagrin
That El Toro, somehow
Wasn’t a bull, but a cow

When in Spain, I didn’t fit in.
I found, to my utter chagrin
That El Toro, somehow
Wasn’t a bull, but a cow
And I’d bet on El Toro to win.
One weekend when I was out hiking

One weekend when I was out hiking
I met a cross-dressing viking

One weekend when I was out hiking
I met a cross-dressing viking
Decked out like Brynhildr,

One weekend when I was out hiking
I met a cross-dressing viking
Decked out like Brynhildr,
A seven foot body builder