Loopy Limericks

“He who smelt it, dealt it”

I’ve never made love on a sidewalk,
Or loved up a maid at the Bangkok.
But one thing I’ve done
Or, at least, half-begun,
Was a willing young barkeep in Montauk.

In Heidelburg it is often said,

In Heidelburg it is often said,
That before you get into bed

In Heidelburg it is often said,
That before you get into bed
If you eat a herring

In Heidelburg it is often said,
That before you get into bed
If you eat a herring
And one small ball-bearing
(Btw. There aren’t too many choices when rhyming with ‘sugar’. Where I come from, ‘nougat’, correctly pronounced, is a pretty close match. In its context too, it actually meant something which alluded to the theme.
If you read what comes just before it, you might possibly understand that my comment, re rhyme, didn’t come completely out of the blue.)

booger

In Heidelburg it is often said,
That before you get into bed
If you eat a herring
And one small ball-bearing
You’ll wake up as a tuna instead.

As I watched from the top of the hill

I didn’t say there were no other choices. I simply took the best one, which, conveniently also had meaning in the context.
And I’m still not sure that you’re convinced that the rest of the English-speaking world (outside US.) doesn’t actually pronounce ‘nougat’ (something) like ‘nugget’, but ‘sugar’.

As I watched from the top of the hill
I noticed young Jack mounting Jill.

I am convinced that no one, anywhere, believes ‘nougat’ rhymes with ‘sugar’. But that’s beside the point; if your standards are so loose that nougat and sugar rhyme, I don’t see how you can nitpick ‘Bangkok’ and ‘sidewalk’.

I think it is a lot more fun without less attention to rules and rhyming, and more attention to bawdy limericks.

As I’ve already said, what you are calling nit-picking (Bangkok/sidewalk) was merely a response to previous entry that was doing just that with someone else.

And here’s someone else with ‘loose standards’.
http://www.goodenglish.org.sg/site/improve/pronunciation-guide-say-it-right/how-to-pronounce-nougat.html

That doesn’t rhyme with sugar either.

As I watched from the top of the hill
I noticed young Jack mounting Jill.
But then I heard some folks sparring,

As I watched from the top of the hill
I noticed young Jack mounting Jill.
But then I heard some folks sparring,
Two empty vessels jarring,

As I watched from the top of the hill
I noticed young Jack mounting Jill
But then I heard some folks sparring
Two empty vessels jarring
With a Wheaton who’s first name is Wil

When Sandra emerged from the sea

When Sandra emerged from the sea
Her tiny top popped off and flew free

nm

When Sandra emerged from the sea,
Her tiny top popped off and flew free.
We then heard the squeals

When Sandra emerged from the sea,
Her tiny top popped off and flew free.
We then heard the squeals
Of the crabs and the eels,

When Sandra emerged from the sea,
Her tiny top popped off and flew free.
We then heard the squeals
Of the crabs and the eels,
Who were used to more boring debris

The homely young girl from Kentucky