Loopy Limericks

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902

A comely young tart named Celeste
Was never too modestly dressed
With her nipples erect
You might just suspect
That my manhood was no longer recessed

I knew that I didn’t fit it

903

I knew that I didn’t fit it
But I had a tough time trying to quit it

904

I knew that I didn’t fit it
But I had a tough time trying to quit it
When my gorge did arise

905

I knew that I didn’t fit it
But I had a tough time trying to quit it
When my gorge did arise
You could tell with your eyes

906

I knew that I didn’t fit it
But I had a tough time trying to quit it
When my gorge did arise
You could tell with your eyes
That I was soon going to split it.
My flying car doesn’t use gas -

907

My flying car doesn’t use gas
Instead, well… I hate to be crass,

908

My flying car doesn’t use gas
Instead, well… I hate to be crass,
But it’s got a small bit

909

My flying car doesn’t use gas
Instead, well… I hate to be crass,
But it’s got a small bit
That makes fuel out shit

910

My flying car doesn’t use gas
Instead, well… I hate to be crass,
But it’s got a small bit
That makes fuel out of shit
So the tail pipe smells faintly of ass.

I eat mostly cabbage for dinner

911

I eat mostly cabbage for dinner,
But chef-like I’m just a beginner.

912

I eat mostly cabbage for dinner
But chef-like I’m just a beginner
I take the whole head

913

I eat mostly cabbage for dinner
But chef-like I’m just a beginner
I take the whole head
'Twixt two slices of bread

914

I eat mostly cabbage for dinner,
But chef-like I’m just a beginner.
I take the whole head
'Twixt two slices of bread,
'Cos I’m a sour Kraut and a Berliner.

915

Somebody else - please start another …

916

I once caught a mermaid off Wales

917

I once caught a mermaid off Wales.
The type with the digital scales.

918

I once caught a mermaid off Wales.
The type with the digital scales.
But I didn’t weigh her,

919

I once caught a mermaid off Wales
The type with the digital scales
But I didn’t weigh her
Nor did I fillet her

920

I once caught a mermaid off Wales.
The type with the digital scales.
But I didn’t weigh her
Nor did I fillet her,
But my codpiece is covered in snails.

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I’ve head like that Munster named Herman,

921

Oops. Sorry folks. Let’s try that one again -
I’ve a head like that Munster named Herman,