Loopy Limericks

I saw a three-legged man at the mall,
He appeared to be having a ball.
Which was slightly perplexing,
As I could see him flexing
The one joined to his abdominal wall.
An old Arab from far Timbuktu,

An old Arab from far Timbuktu,
In the evening would play his kazoo.

An old Arab from far Timbuktu,
In the evening would play his kazoo
He claimed that while humming

An old Arab from far Timbuktu,
In the evening would play his kazoo.
He claimed that while humming,
He could hear camels coming

An old Arab from far Timbuktu,
In the evening would play his kazoo.
He claimed that while humming,
He could hear camels coming
Or cumming if the beast’s balls were blue

My hole cards in hold 'em were aces

My hole cards in hold 'em were aces
I must of had the luck of the Graces.

My hole cards in hold 'em were aces
I must of had the luck of the Graces.
'cause when I saw the flop

My hole cards in hold 'em were aces
I must of had the luck of the Graces.
'cause when I saw the flop,
the other two aces on top,

My hole cards in hold 'em were aces
I must of had the luck of the Graces.
‘cause when I saw the flop,
the other two aces on top,
I laughed at the other guys’ raises!

My dog is an insufferable cur,

My dog is an insufferable cur
She thinks I’m her private chauffeur

My dog is an insufferable cur
She thinks I’m her private chauffeur
I’ve got news for that canine

My dog is an insufferable cur
She thinks I’m her private chauffeur
I’ve got news for that canine
If she wants to stay mine

My dog is an insufferable cur
She thinks I’m her private chauffeur
I’ve got news for that canine
If she wants to stay mine
She’d better man up, as it were

A thong-wearing granny named Ester

A thong-wearing granny named Ester
Dared the local police to arrest her

A thong-wearing granny named Ester
Dared the local police to arrest her
But they would not grab her

A thong-wearing granny named Ester
Dared the local police to arrest her
But they would not grab her
Though Grandpa did nab her.

A thong-wearing granny named Ester
Dared the local police to arrest her
But they would not grab her
Though Grandpa did nab her
Now she’s in her second trimester
In baseball don’t goop up your balls

Absolutely brilliant!
In baseball don’t goop up your balls
And if the umpire make any bad calls.

In baseball don’t goop up your balls
And if the umpire make any bad calls.
Just grin and bear it

In baseball don’t goop up your balls
And if the umpire make any bad calls.
Just grin and bear it
Because you may inherit