The trouble with Australian women
Is the garment they wear when they’re swimmin’
Their tops are too tight
The trouble with Australian women,
Is the garment they wear when they’re swimmin’.
Their tops are too tight
And their bosoms aren’t light,
The trouble with Australian women,
Is the garment they wear when they’re swimmin’.
Their tops are too tight
And their bosoms aren’t light,
So their breasts seem to look like they’re skimmin’.
There once was a man from Worcester
There once was a man from Worcester
Whose wife was so bold that he cursed her
There once was a man from Worcester
Whose wife was so bold that he cursed her
“Shit, cunt, and fuck”
ETA" I was wondering how “Worcester” and “cursed her” could possibly rhyme. Then I remembered that, outside of Massachusetts, it’s pronounced “Woos-ter,” not “Wis-ter.”
There once was a man from Worcester
Whose wife was so bold that he cursed her
“Shit, cunt, and fuck”
She said “You’re in luck!”
There once was a man from Worcester
Whose wife was so bold that he cursed her
“Shit, cunt, and fuck”
She said “You’re in luck!”
But he pumped her too hard and he borcester.
#######
*" I was wondering how “Worcester” and “cursed her” could possibly rhyme. Then I remembered that, outside of Massachusetts, it’s pronounced “Woos-ter,” not “Wis-ter.” *
Obviously, the pronunciation of ‘Worcester’ depends on just where you were brought-up.
A number of well-known limericks have highlighted the unusual pronunciation of some English words.
This, for example;
A lively young damsel named Menzies
Inquired: “Do you know what this thenzies?”
Her aunt, with a gasp,
Replied, "It’s a wasp,
And you’re holding the end where the stenzies."
(Which only makes sense with the knowledge that the Scots pronunciation of ‘Menzies’ is ‘MING iss’.
#######
A frog and a toad, in a well
A frog and a toad, in a well
Argued which had the raunchiest smell
A frog and a toad, in a well,
Argued which had the raunchiest smell.
The scent of the frog,
frog and a toad, in a well,
Argued which had the raunchiest smell.
The scent of the frog,
Had the two all agog.
frog and a toad, in a well,
Argued which had the raunchiest smell.
The scent of the frog,
Had the two all agog.
But the toad’s reek was utterly fell.
################
Two Dandies took an evening stroll,
Two Dandies took an evening stroll,
And one exclaimed "Why, bless my soul!
Two Dandies took an evening stroll,
And one exclaimed "Why, bless my soul!
I think that’s Beau Brummell,
Two Dandies took an evening stroll,
And one exclaimed "Why, bless my soul!
I think that’s Beau Brummell,
There digging a tunnel.
Two Dandies took an evening stroll,
And one exclaimed “Why, bless my soul!
I think that’s Beau Brummell,
There digging a tunnel.
Perhaps we two might share his man-hole!”
I once took the joystick in a Boeing,
I once took the joystick in a Boeing.
But wasn’t sure where I was going.
I once took the joystick in a Boeing.
But wasn’t sure where I was going.
We flew through a cloud
I once took the joystick in a Boeing.
But wasn’t sure where I was going.
We flew through a cloud
Then I screamed real loud
I once took the joystick in a Boeing.
But wasn’t sure where I was going.
We flew through a cloud
Then I screamed real loud
The fear was in the not knowing.
##############################
I really am tired of hash tags
I really am tired of hash tags,
Although they’re like $ on cash bags.