Lose the goatee, Tubby; and other free personal makeover advice

[Malacandra]

You too, huh?

(And the word “tubby” in the same sentence doesn’t help. :eek: )

[Sauron]

It’s not MY fault if you people are twisted sickos.

Of course, I know what you’re referring to, so I guess I’m not much better off, either.

[scout1222]

@Bobotheoptimist

So, you’re saying I should get some short sleeve, button-down shirts?

I always KNEW you were a psychopath.

[descamisado]

[QUOTE=msmith537]

@5-4 Fighting:

So, what should I wear with my black polyester pants tomorrow – the black polo shirt of the black polo shirt with the white stripes? And can I borrow your white belt?* QUOTE]

That depends. Are you going to work tomorrow and do you work as either a) a bartender at the W Hotel or b) a football referee?

I’m trying my damndest to work in Miller’s reading of my OP as "I’m gay for work . . . " with these two options, but I’m trying.

[Gary_Robson]

@msmith537

Only Jahovah’s Witnesses, engineering nerds and psychopaths wear short sleave button-down shirts.

I’m guessing you (a) live in a big city or (b) golf or (c) are a white-collar worker, probably in a large company.

I’m also guessing you’ve never been to Hawaii.

If you step out in the street in this small Montana town, especially when it’s 90 degrees F outside, you’re not going to see many long-sleeved shirts. The preppy-type tourists are wearing polo shirts. The bikers and some of the locals are wearing t-shirts. A few of the older ranchers are wearing long-sleeved flannel shirts buttoned all the way up. The lawyers and the mortician are wearing long-sleeved dress shirts with ties. The rest of us are wearing nice cool button-down shirts with short sleeves.

[TroubleAgain]

Short-sleeve buttoned casual shirts are fine. The ones that are short-sleeve that claim to be dress shirts are the territory of nerds, JW’s and psychopaths.

[Pullet]

@Sauron

Cologne/Perfume wearers: This tip crosses gender boundaries, because both men and women tend to overindulge in the smell-good stuff. I tend to give women a pass on this to a certain extent, because the commercials for perfume never actually show the perfume being applied. They show women diving into pools, and snuggling with rugged, handsome men, and sometimes bringing home some bacon and frying it in a pan. How this is supposed to sell perfume is beyond me.

Duh. They’re amping up for the premier of “Squee,” the bacon-scented perfume, this Christmas. Guaranteed to get a man’s attention.

[Gary_Robson]

@TroubleAgain

Short-sleeve buttoned casual shirts are fine. The ones that are short-sleeve that claim to be dress shirts are the territory of nerds, JW’s and psychopaths.

Sorry. There is no such thing as a short-sleeved dress shirt.

[Dunawake]

So what’s the final verdict on Henleys ? I like them in general, but then…I can’t even match colors properly.

[Malacandra]

@Sauron

It’s not MY fault if you people are twisted sickos.

Of course, I know what you’re referring to, so I guess I’m not much better off, either.

What do you mean, it’s not YOUR fault? Listen, once you’ve crafted the One Ring To Bring Them All And In The Darkness Bind Them, plausible deniability pretty much goes out the window.

[Cat_Whisperer]

@Malacandra

What do you mean, it’s not YOUR fault? Listen, once you’ve crafted the One Ring To Bring Them All And In The Darkness Bind Them, plausible deniability pretty much goes out the window.

That, my friend, is an excellent point. Any counter, Sauron?

[Typo]

Sauron didn’t do the twisting himself, he just took advantage of the potential for twistedness. Lazy bugger, letting man’s corruptable nature do most of the work.

[gotpasswords]

@TroubleAgain

Short-sleeve buttoned casual shirts are fine. The ones that are short-sleeve that claim to be dress shirts are the territory of nerds, JW’s and psychopaths.

And mainframe programmers. Those guys transcend “nerd” and take it to a frightening new level. Dress shoes, black socks, khaki shorts, short-sleeve pinpoint oxford shirt and a tie, usually with shop teacher glasses. <shudder>

[Bobotheoptimist]

@scout1222

I always KNEW you were a psychopath.

S-C-O-U-T-1-2-2-2. Right.

[scout1222]

Yikes!

[Sauron]

@Malacandra

What do you mean, it’s not YOUR fault? Listen, once you’ve crafted the One Ring To Bring Them All And In The Darkness Bind Them, plausible deniability pretty much goes out the window.

I didn’t CREATE man’s baser instincts. I just learned to use and exploit them to my advantage. Kinda like Captain Kangaroo.

[tdn]

@Sauron

I didn’t CREATE man’s baser instincts. I just learned to use and exploit them to my advantage. Kinda like Captain Kangaroo.

You, my friend, invoke disturbing mental pictures. Like the one of the Dark Lord on his Dark Throne atop Barad-Dur, getting annoyed when Mr. Moose causes a torrent of ping-pong balls to fall on his head.

Perhaps the free peoples of Middle Earth should have just learned to tell some knock-knock jokes, instead of doing all that bothersome questing.

[Sauron]

@tdn

You, my friend, invoke disturbing mental pictures. Like the one of the Dark Lord on his Dark Throne atop Barad-Dur, getting annoyed when Mr. Moose causes a torrent of ping-pong balls to fall on his head.

So much heartache and bloodshed could have been avoided if Bunny Rabbit had just left my damn carrots alone.

[Missy2U]

@Pullet

Duh. They’re amping up for the premier of “Squee,” the bacon-scented perfume, this Christmas. Guaranteed to get a man’s attention.

I very much need to purchase this. Where might I find it? On line? In a regular store? In a boutique? At the Sharper Image? TELL ME WHERE!!!

[tdn]

@Missy2U

I very much need to purchase this. Where might I find it? On line? In a regular store? In a boutique? At the Sharper Image? TELL ME WHERE!!!

Stop & Shop? Publix? Piggly Wiggly?