I can understand that, however, I assumed (maybe incorrectly) that the poster was quite young. It sounded like a college experience to me. I could be wrong.
I lost my viriginity when I was 26. By that time, I’d lived in three countries, moved across the country, rented a home, had and lost jobs, and supported myself on my own for a few years. I wouldn’t call losing my virginity an important step in my maturity compared to most things on that list.
That, on the other hand applies to 20th century America. In the context of your story, “voluntarily making a connection with another person, letting that person touch your soul while keeping it inside” could be equally applicable to a deep, true friendship. Indeed, Rosie’s own connection with Hannah could apply, especially if she sees herself has Hannah’s protector and defender. If she’s chosen to delay opportunities for sex/romance in order to do a better job of looking after Hannah, that could be as potent a connection as anything sexual. Come to think of it, it could be a nasty shock for your wizard to discover that!
Don’t get me wrong – sex is a lot of fun, not to metion a wonderful way to pass a Sunday afternoon. I also believe that, at least for me, it does create a bond between two people which is why I am prudish by some people’s standards. On the other hand, I would say refusing to have sex because it wouldn’t be appropriate is a greater indication of maturity than merely having sex because one is lonely, horny, or has a Sunday afternoon to kill.
Good luck. This sounds like it could be an interesting theme to play with. You’ll let us know how it goes?
Biologically, you’re mature when you’re able to bang. Lots of people can bang, this is nothing special. And also with relationships. A lot of people are in relationships, and the ones I’ve known that have had long term relationships, doesn’t automatically equate to maturity. Some still act like their 5 year olds. Actually, lots of them do.
Maturity in my opinion is on an individual level and has nothing to do with sex, but how you perceive and react to the world around you. If you feel that having sex, and/or a relationship is required to be mature… is it because after you did these things, you felt you became mature afterwards? And so now if someone else hasn’t experienced life as you have, then their not mature? Silly. If so great, but lots of folks can mature socially well before having sex, in a social sense.
I should say that Hannah is wrong when she thinks that the Creature means that childhood = virginity = purity. The Creature is saying that Rosemary is still a child because the vast majority of her love is still concentrated on her birth family; Hannah is Rosemary’s friend primarily because she and Andy are best friends, and there is no one Rosemary loves as much, or even NEARLY as much, as Andy.
I do think the Creature means that falling in romantic love is the surest way to protect oneself from the wizard’s spell, and that because Rosemary has never allowed herself to do that, she is still vulnerable despite being an adult in most ways. (In fact, in the story, Rosie has been an adult pretty much since she was 14, as her mother abandoned the family emotionally after being widowed, leaving Rosie in charge of running the house and raising her brother.)
I’d also like to add, that people in these kinds of situations tend to be the maturest of all, in my experience. Due to the responsibility and all…
Rosemary certainly is. She is a child only for a specific definition of child.
In that case, one could argue that one who’s given up one’s romantic life for a cause or an ideal would be protected, i.e. Cyrano de Bergerac or a good Catholic priest or nun. There are people who believe there are more important things in life than their love lives or boinking some amenable stranger. This can be done immaturely, as in the young man who leaves his girl to seek fortune and glory by going off to war, or maturely as in a man who chooses not to have a wife and family so he can use his resources to care for those who have no one else to care for them. Again, for a wizard looking at the world through lenses of sex, ambition, and power, this could be something completely unexpected and a rather unpleasant turn of events when the innocent virgin who he thinks has formed attachements to no one turns out to be someone who’s seen the worst the world can offer and formed attachments to many in order to help them. Especially if one of the poor and helpless this person helped turns out to be the local captain of the guard!
I’m not sure why, but I have a lot of friends who are in college and virgins, and are the most immature people I know. At least as far as sex is concerned, but it usually leaks over into their normal lives. They’re the ones who still giggle at the word “penis” like it’s a baaaad swear word (this is both male and female college students).
Then again, I know a lot of people who have had sex and are still immature, so it might not be connected.
~Tasha
All true. However, society has agreed on certain non-negotiables, or dealbreakers. There has to be some point at which the rest of us can say, “Sorry. Not acceptable.” And for everybody’s safety and comfort, it has to be drawn well inside the lines where (say) someone molests a child, tortures a pet, trashes the house when invited over, etc. Unfortunately, this stigmatizes a certain number of people who don’t deserve it, and whose lives indeed may be very scarred by that stigma. I suppose it’s the “cost of doing business”, socially speaking.
I think it depends on your reasons for remaining a virgin. Still one in your early 20’s? Not so strange. You’ve been focusing on other stuff, and/or haven’t found anybody you really like yet. If you just don’t consider it that important, that’s OK, too.
Once you’ve made it into your late 20’s? Then it starts to seem a little, well, weird. I can see not doing it with just anybody when you’re younger. You haven’t had a lot of experience in the world, it’s a big step in a relationship, you’re immature and know it, etc. But by the time you know you’ve matured as a person, and you’re actually interested in having sex, what are you waiting for? Just grab a hot guy/girl and have a weekend fling. You’re old enough to handle it. Sex with love is fantastic, but sex with nothing but lust is good, too.
If you’re waiting for religious reasons, then I think you’re really missing out.