I don’t really mean to bring this debate up again, but I’ve been thinking on it a lot, ever since.
It’s none of my business whether or not you’re a virgin as an adult when we’re dating. No, it’s really not. And I’m sorry for thinking it was.
The only time it becomes my business is if you intend to *stay * that way until some requirement gets fulfilled…i.e, religion, marriage, or something similar. Then I need to know, because my beliefs are the opposite - I wouldn’t marry you without being sure we were compatible in every way, and I won’t convert for you.
Love doesn’t count, because if we’re meant to fall in love, we will anyway.
So I’m sorry for saying that I need to know. Drinks on me!
Well, I was on your side earlier but now I respectfully disagree.
Much to the chagrin of some (I’m sure), the default position for most adults (Western Culture) is not virginity until marriage. As such, it behooves a person taking that stance to advertise the fact early on and allow the potential partner make a decision as to whether or not they wish to continue to date with this information in hand.
Take it from a guy who’s on his second marriage, you can’t be sure you’re compatible in every way. You should probably live together, have a pet, then have a couple of kids, write a will together, visit each others family members out of state, maybe a protracted illness in the family and a couple of deaths, plan retirement, get laid off, and then, after about 30 years of that you will know whether you’re compatible enough to get married.
My husband was a 28-year-old virgin when we began our relationship. I’m very glad he told me. If I hadn’t known, I’d have behaved differently in bed, and would have judged his behavior differently.
I only speak for myself, Quickie. I mean more that it really doesn’t and shouldn’t matter to me. Different people draw the line at different things.
CookingwithGas, I also believe in living together before marriage. For an extended time period. Which I am doing…eight years now.
harmless, the debate was: Adult Virginity. Should it be announced early on in a relationship? Does the other person have a right to know? And I am merely announcing that I no longer feel it necessary for me to know. (provided we’re going to work on changing that.)
Now look here Annamika. If all you were looking for was a public spanking then all you needed to do was ask. There is very little need for subterfuge and oblique pretenses. I’m sure any number of people here would love to oblige. I’m sure a line is forming as we speak.
It’s not my thing but I’ll be happy to sell tickets for a small consessions fee. What do you think is fair? A dollar a smack? Seven for a fiver? Senior discounts? BYO paddle?
We *are * married in our hearts, we just don’t have that little piece of paper. If you really want to hear all the reasons - well, how much time ya got?