Thank you.
An un-named Doper, who I’d never met before, sent me a PM and arranged to pop over for a visit, brought a huge amount of food and we had a delightful lunch and long visit. I am still a little choked up when I think about it.
That was very sweet!
We have some of the coolest people in the world here on this board. That’s a fact.
Warning! Rambling ahead…
I appreciate all the advice and support that I haven’t gotten to respond to in several days. It’s been he’ll here and I’ve pretty much, despite my protests to the contrary, melted down.
I spent so much time on the phone hashing out details with everyone (the mortgage company, various insurances, social security, our utility companies, places mentioned here that can help, etc.), taking Jaceson to billions of doctor’s appointments and then fighting him every step of the way about everything.
As I said before, I’m just exhausted and for the most part, I kind of curled up into a fetal position and cried and hid when some other responsibility wasn’t expected of me. I begged for help from those closer (like my step-son), but it won’t be coming anytime soon. Also, as feared, we aren’t eligible for any home health care.
So, I haven’t returned all my PMs or emails. And although you guys say to cut myself some slack, that’s killing me. Everyone here has done so much for us. I can’t begin to express how much your donations will help to keep food on our table and lights over our head until the first disability check comes in. I’ve got to get out my cards to those folks today, if it’s the last thing I do.
As to what has set me back the most, Jaceson has become more difficult than ever. 
I agreed that I needed to put my foot down with him, stop the coddling so much, and make him somewhat responsible for his own care and motivations. Well, he’s decided that fighting me every step of the way is more beneficial and instead of just having a blowout daily, we’re averaging every couple of hours.
Supposedly, when his son comes to help, he’ll talk to him. I just don’t think that’ll be soon. Fortunately, I have my support group meeting tomorrow. That should offer a tiny bit of relief. I may have to take him to the hospital for another set of transfusions. I still can’t get him to take his Lactulose consistently, so I’m dealing with the Hepatic Encephalopathy as I type. It’s just all so infuriating and I need a break from it, if only for a few hours.
Of course, I can’t do that while he’s like this and I’ve been trying to remind myself of what you all have said. That his verbal abuse isn’t anything personal and I’ll eventually get to a better place. Surely, like the social security office, one of those guys will eventually have to help us. I’m so counting on that.
Anyway, thank you all again. For everything. Hopefully this week, I’ll be able to catch up on all this stuff for real, even if it kills me. I apologize for ranting and for feeling sorry for myself. Maybe I just need some sleep.
Kemi, you don’t need to apologise to us - I’m going to go out on a limb here and speak for other Dopers, but I’m fairly sure I’m on solid ground. No one who has offered you anything, whether it’s financial or other kinds of support, is going to be upset that you’re focusing on real life and trying to sort that out. I’m sorry it’s not working well and that Jaceson is still being… difficult.
I do think sleep would help, though I know only too well how hard it can be to get enough when you’re stressed, and you’ve got a lot of stress going on. Have you talked to your doctor yet? If you can’t get to your doctor for any reason, there must be other people you can call - http://www.befrienders.org/helplines/helplines.asp?c2=USA has a whole load of helplines, some of which are Texas-specific - pick one and give them a call if you need someone local to rant to.
And don’t feel bad about not getting back to people on here - we’re trying to help, not add to your burden. You can get back to us when things are more settled with you - it’s ok to be preoccupied with other things, it doesn’t make you a bad person. I promise.
Seconding this. Hang in there.
QTF. We’re here to help..and support. We don’t expect feedback or answers. We understand how much stress you have. You’ll get through this. And you’ll respond when you have time. Do what you have to do, and talk to us when you have free time.
The last thing we want is to be yet another burden on you.
-D/a
The community mental health center in Dallas is Metrocare Services. www.metrocare.org
They have a sliding scale based on income. You guys should both qualify for services. You need help now, and so does Jaceson.
My heart goes out to you.
Don’t worry about us. Christmas cards and pms and updates can wait. Take care of yourself and Jaceson.
Whew!
Thank you all for being so understanding. It’s, uh, been an interesting week. I don’t remember when my laptop finally got picked up, but catching up everything on my phone (doing all the stuff that needed to be done on PMs and emails is almost possible with Tapatalk) was so horrible, I waited until I was back home and able to get to our library’s free computers to use.
So yep, I took a break from Jaceson for the past week. Unfortunately, the only place I had to go was my mother’s, but it was better than nothing and gave both of us some much-needed perspective. Thank God.
Anyway, I want to keep this post relatively short and let you guys get back to your own holiday preperations, but I wanted to say that we seem better and our financial situation is okay thanks to your help. As I said before, we have food on the table, no utilities will be cut off and gas in the tank of our truck. I thank each and every one of you so much. Each little bit, no matter how big or small, was a boon to us. I can’t express my gratitude enough. Each one made my heart swell with love for my fellow Dopers and belief in the goodness of humanity. Also made me cry, but that’s for another thread. 
However, some gifts (especially via PayPal) came without any way of me knowing who they were from, therefore I can’t thank you. If that was your intent, I understand. If not though, please check what / how you sent something and let me know your Doper handle, so I can send you a proper PM “thank you.” Because otherwise, it’s killing me to think there are folks out there who might believe what they did went unappreciated. Nothing is further from the truth. So if all I have is your IRL name, please let me know who you are.
Needless to say, Dopers were very generous. There’s no telling what I’ve managed to get cross-ways boondoggled by trying to thank everyone in everywhich way possible, both via PM, email and card. If you end up being called Bubba Jr. and your name is really Hermione, please forgive me. I’m addled at the best of times and, well, these ain’t quite that. Thank you for your patience.
In other news, when Jaceson’s mother passed away last December, we just assumed she didn’t have any sort of insurance policy, as she’d been in a nursing home for the past 25 years. However, we just found out that she did have a little tiny one and that money, like $600 I think, will cover Jaceson’s insurance (or almost) for another month. Which is wonderful.
We’ve sold a few more things on Craigslist. Yay! I still have to list my Kindle, but perhaps I should do that here first, because I’d rather one of you have it than anyone else (and I’ve only had it since March). If anyone is interested, shoot me a PM or email.
Overall, positive steps. I’m really thankful for the break I had. I’m beyond glad I have y’all to turn to for advice and support and friendship. Thank you for always being here for me and keeping an eye out. I hope everyone has the bestest holidays ever and next year proves to be amazing. You guys stay safe, be happy and may the love returned to you for all the good that you do know no bounds.
Peace,
Kemi~
P.S. Ha! Guess that didn’t turn out to be so short after all. I’ll hang my head now in shame. Sorry.
So glad things are better and that you’re not so stressed.
Glad things are looking up!
I’m totally looking forward to a card addressed to me with “Bubba Jr.”
Have a good Christmas, Kemi.
To everyone here who has been so wonderful to me, not just now, but over the years, through mental illness and now physical problems with my husband…
May you all be blessed for your caring spirits and wondrous gifts of love and friendship. Everything we received from you guys was so special and appreciated, but what truly touched our hearts the most was that people give of themselves so freely and graciously.
We are so lucky.
So, from Jaceson and I, we wish you the best holiday you’ve ever experienced. We hope it’s filled with goodness, light, joy and peace and a New Year that is exquisitely beautiful and showers you with promise.
We love you all. Thank you for saving us.
Kemi and Jaceson
Merry Christmas, Kemi and Jaceson, and I hope 2012 is better for you than 2011!
Happy Christmas, you two. I’m thinking of you and wishing you the best. PM me if you need anything, okay?
Merry Christmas! Joyeux Noël! Felicxan Kristnaskfeston!
Merry Christmas to you two. Know that I (like so many) am always thinking of you.