Lost my job, our nanny quit, so now I have to take my own kids to school like some jerk!

Ok, granted my life is more Mr Mom than The Pursuit of Happyness in that I don’t have to sleep with my kids in a PATH station bathroom.

The fun part was when the back wheel fell off the stroller six blocks from home. That was neat.

Or explaining to my wife why my son has a massive scarface scratch down the side of his face from jumping face-first into something.

And I swear to God, they were trying to get me to shit my pants. Oh sure, your foot just “happens” to keep hitting the break while I’m trying to rush us home so I can get to the bathroom.

That’s about all I have time to write since I only have about 90 seconds between when the kids bust into my office to demand my attention, break something or otherwise require me to stop what I’m doing to go intervene.

ahh, the joys and blessings of kids and family:p::smiley:

sounds like there’s a reason the nanny bailed form the remarks about the little rodents …sucks about the job tho :eek:

Alas. Those innocent days of early childhood.Then they grow up into snively, angsty teens who scare you to death with all their activities. All to end up breaking your heart by leaving home and having their own life.
Now let’s talk about grandkids.
Goodluck, you’ll need it.

Or breaking your heart by living at home until they’re forty.

The Joys and the Responsibilities of Parenthood!
Because… well… which one of your kids would you toss into the woodchipper just to be a better ‘Affluent American’?
Kids and family. Congratulations! I think you just finally figured out that you aren’t a Trump “Affluent American” but a Real American instead. Personally, I think you made a much better choice.

“He was stabbed in the throat. He died almost instantly.
Although I hadn’t seen him in more than ten years, I know that I’ll miss him forever.
I never had any friends later on like I did when I was twelve.
Jesus, does anyone?”

Sorry about the job loss.

What you are dealing with sounds … character building.

Yes. Or that.

Yeah…no, I actually think I made a terrible choice. Yes, they are generally cute. But really want I want in my heart of hearts is to find a new fucking job. And I can’t do that as they literally come in and bother me every 30 seconds. Like they have a million fucking toys. Go play with your fucking toys for ten minutes so I can send a damn email.

they dont go to the educational day prison known as school yet ?

Find a older neighbor kid to entertain them for an hour. Pay him $10. Make your calls, send your emails, take a dump or a shower. That’s about all you can hope for. Any grandparents close by?

You wouldn’t happen to be in the Witness Protection Program, would you? Cuz I think I’ve heard this before…

Gee, this brought back a lot of memories from when my kids were little. Give up on the idea of undivided attention. Not happening.

Get used to doing things in 90-second increments: finish editing email, get kid snack; hit Send for email and read part of new one, tell Kid B to stop flicking imaginary boogers at Kid A; finish reading email, stomp into living room and yell, “If I see one more imaginary booger getting flicked or hear one more wail, there’ll be big trouble!”; answer call from your mom (actually a robocall), stomp toward living room, switch course, pour self Paw Patrol sippy cup full of wine.

You don’t really get to ditch your kids while you work in the office, even for what you think is going to be 10 minutes. You wouldn’t put up with your nanny doing that, would you? Not that I don’t sympathize with your situation, but if your kids are stroller-aged, they need eyes on them all the time.

I think I should bookmark this thread for when I’m doubt about whether or not to buy condoms.

I can understand the frustration.

You need to schedule some “me” time. It will let you get the work done that you want, and it will keep you from going insane. Try not to take your frustrations out on the kids. They’re just being little puppy-people and can’t help themselves.

Try setting up a schedule, like pre-schools do. Set times for snacks and naps (especially naps) should make your day a little easier.

I actually don’t mind spending time with the kids. It’s the fact that my career has gone to shit and I can’t find a job that has me frustrated.

Isn’t there a kid-sharing app where you can basically rent your kids out by the hour and pick up some cash?

So start a new career as a kid-wrangler! Spend quality time with your kids plus a whole lot of other kids! What could possibly be the downside??

Wise-assery aside, I get a tiny taste of what you’re dealing with when I do grandmother duty. Who knew a 1-y/o could create so much havoc in a short time within a confined space!! Good luck!

Sounds like they’re young enough to have nap time. Can you get them to take naps after lunch, and get some job-hunting done then?