First of all, it’s a skill that can be learned. Go learn it.
Second of all, I’ve dated women who were totally not into dancing. They’re out there.
Fuck, I knew I should have put this in the first post. No, I can’t learn it.
Yes you can.
No I can’t. I have tried.
I could teach you.
No you couldn’t. You’d be the last in a long line of people who’ve tried to teach me. They’ve all assumed that I’m just insecure or afraid or inexperienced or whatever.
Well, you are.
No I’m not. All the other ones thought as you do. Some gave up quickly. Some lasted quite a long time. All of them admitted in the end that I was right. I just can’t learn it.
You weren’t trying.
Yes I fucking was. Don’t you think I’d like to be able to dance?
So you never dance?
It’s been known to happen. Enough alcohol, the right company and a certain mood and state of mind, it happens. I try to keep “Enough alcohol” out of my life, “the right company” doesn’t include dating prospects and both “mood” and “state of mind” are beyond my control. Even when everything clicks, dancing remains about making a fool of myself as creatively as possible.
Loser.
Well, that’s just like, your opinion, man.
I’m not a “good” dancer, but I’m not afraid to get out there and look foolish. It’s less about showing off your leet dancing skillz and more about just getting up and having a good time.
Or, you know, you could stop going to clubs if you hate dancing that much and find some other place to meet women.
Sure, and post #199 is just my opinion as well. I suck at dancing as well. That’s a fact that can be measured by NASA. I also suck at meeting women. NASA can measure that fact as well.
But can they measure three hot babes who ask “Can we dance with you?” It’s like they’re not even trying, man!
And hey, if I can turn my face from this 
to this 
for women, and have them go from this :rolleyes: to this 
, then you can surely get up off the futon and move about a bit to some oldies in the privacy of your own home. And I promise you that NASA won’t be measuring it.
You know what? NASA can suck my dick. But they’ll have to wait behind the next three awesome babes that see me “dancing.”
But can they measure it?
A thousand times yes. Give me the bad dancer any day. A guy who will get out there and dance, even if he’s not a good dancer, sends two signals: 1) I’m comfortable with my body and 2) I’m not afraid to look silly in public. A guy who refuses to dance sends out two signals: 1) I’m uptight and 2) I’m not very sensual. Which is sexier?
Yep.
I hate clubs. I’m not so much a hot stud in those places as I am some lonely loser in the corner developing a faux migrane. I’ve done it, but I hate it, so it’s not so much a great place to meet people. The noise grates on me something terrible.
But I did once meet a really nice woman in a club. A couple of friends of mine were in a band that played far too loudly. Louise – a complete stranger – and I danced a bit, and swear to Og, she was a worse dancer than I was. We retired to a table with some of her friends, and tried to have a conversation. The music was so loud that we had to shout at each other.
Even shouting didn’t work. I had to shout right into her ear, so close that my lips were touching her hair. I had to touch her hand so that we could keep track of each other through all the noise. Pretty soon we spoke to each other by touching lips directly together, as ears were useless at that point.
The noise was so loud that she couldn’t even shout her phone number at me. She had to write it down for me.
Damn, she was sweet. Sucks that she dumped me a month later. But that was the nicest faux migrane I’ve ever had.
Yes, because trying to appear attractive while doing something impossible and embarrassing in the middle of a roomful of strangers who collectively judge you on your performance is just so conducive to having a good time.
Yeah, because I hang around in clubs just that much. Shitty music and stupid drunk people are like oxygen to me, so I simply never leave. I’m typing this from a laptop in the middle of the dance floor while enjoying the musical stylings of whatever Britney Spears wannabe they did a dance remix of.
Huh. I’d like to fight your ignorance on this, but… Is that a samba I hear?
When I hear samba, I must move. Join me? 
That’s not why I don’t dance. I’m just trying to avoid personal injury lawsuits.
Yep. My husband dances like Ed Grimley.
No, that’s really too flattering.
I guess I have a rare gift: the ability to do whatever the hell it is that I want to do without worrying about what random people think. I truly do not give a fuck. Granted, I never went to clubs looking for women, but because I wanted to hear the band.
It is possible to hear good music at clubs. Or maybe that’s just a function of my living in the Bay Area? A short list of bands I’ve seen at holes-in-the-wall:
AFI (back when they were punk rock, goddammit!)
Good Riddance
Groovy Ghoulies
Fishbone
Korn
Lagwagon
Red Session
Sick Of It All
The innocent spectators gouging out their eyes is what gets to me, personally.
Get over yourself a little. You’re not being judged by the whole room. If you’re lucky, you’re being judged by one attractive stranger who is flattered that you’re paying attention to her.
Or annoyed. But in that case, eject yourself and go get an O’Douls. Talk to someone else.
Other people are not judging you so much as working on their own game.
What can replace nightclubs and bars?
Coffee houses?
Teahouses?
Museums?
Parks?
Pools?
Beaches?
Stores?
Work?
Smoking areas?
Bookhouse/cafes?
Sidewalks in your neighborhood?
Adult education classes?
The gym?
That last query is a serious one. Kalhoun (and others) made some great suggestions. Let’s add on to it.
DnD games?
OK, that last one was a joke. But i’ve seen it work.
I guess I wasn’t clear enough. I don’t go to nightclubs and bars to pick up women. What would I do there, look for someone else who doesn’t want to be there?
I’m mystified about the importance of dancing, and the unquestioning acceptance of its necessity in the modern relationship. Slithy Tove casually mentioned not liking dancing as an explanation of not getting dates. Talk about begging the question.
Dancing a pointless activity enshrined as essential. What if women treated rock climbing the way they treat dancing? People with fear of heights and clumsy people would be eminently undateable. This seems ridiculous, but it’s exactly what I face.
Dancing allows people to have something to do at a bar instead of standing around looking bored.
I’m only meh about dancing, so no. Not all women are into it. But men who are willing to just go with it instead of standing around thinking everyone is judging them are way more attractive in pretty much everything.
Just wanted to reassure you that not all women are into dancing. My husband and I hate it. We are both terrible at it and find it ridiculous to try it if you don’t enjoy it, aren’t good at it, and don’t find it appealing as an activity in any way. We specifically and deliberately didn’t have dancing at our wedding because we didn’t want to be forced to do it, esp. not while a room full of people are watching us.
There are women out there who won’t cajole/manipulate/shame/force you into doing something you find this distasteful. It’s worth holding out to find one rather than fake your way through an idiotic activity. Seriously, it’s a big mistake to be someone other than yourself to get a date, if you intend to have anything more than a meaningless thing. Stick to your guns.
I used to enjoy dancing when I was younger, but I don’t dance like the young folk dance, and I’m not quite as limber as I once was, so I prefer to be a spectator these days. I thoroughly enjoy watching other people dance.
I really hate when the music is too loud, though.
Word up. But it pays to expand your gun collection every now and then. Learning to dance is a fucking uzi, but not everyone can learn to shoot an uzi.
Today I learned how to lob a bullet. It paid off, in a small way. Three times.
Good on me.
I have no idea what you’re talking about; I think you murdered the shit out of that metaphor for no good reason. But I will say this-- if you fake being into something like dancing when you really don’t enjoy it, it will turn into one of those things you fight about later in your relationship. It’s a “how come you don’t bring me flowers anymore?” type thing: “why don’t we go dancing anymore?” Do you really want to set yourself up for the type of disillusionment that comes with faking your way into a relationship by pretending to be someone you’re not?
I hate that shit, because it’s a banal sort of deception that can do your possible future relationship no good. Encouraging Priceguy to fake being into dancing (which he really hates, not just sort doesn’t like but whatever) in order to get laid is absurd and pretty damn lame. Being someone you’re not just to get a date smacks of desperation. Find someone you actually share real interests with; don’t bullshit the person who you hope is your “true love.”
If you found that you actually like dancing after all, good on you. That’s not the same thing. Priceguy and I don’t like it. We don’t need to learn in order to trick someone into dating us. I’d rather find someone I had something in common with that I truly do like. YMMV.