From “Desperado”
And Freedom/Oh, Freedom
That’s just a small town near Pittsburgh
And of course there was the Eddie Money tune: “Two tics and a pair of lice”.
As they say, a mind is a terrible thing to waste. But in my childhood friend’s mind, sometimes it was just a terrible thing.
My brother changed it from:
Nothing could be finer than to be in Carolina in the morning
No one could be sweeter Than my sweetie when I meet her in the morning.
To:
Nothing could be finer than to be in your vagina in the morning
Nothing could be sweeter than for you to suck my peter in the morning.
ETA: to the tune of “If you’re happy and you know it”
V1 There’s a skeeter on my peter whack it off…
V2 There’s another on my brother whack 'em off…
V3 There’s a dozen on my cousin whack 'em off…
The way I sang it:
Nothing could be finer than my dick in your vagina in the morning
Nothing could be sweeter than your lips around my peter in the morning.
A classic! Another:
Well, I’m your penis—I’m your fire at your desire.
For years I couldn’t tell if that voice was a man or a woman. Now that I’ve seen the picture, definitely a woman.
I also change “Like a virgin” to “Like a sturgeon…swimming for the very first time.”
An old standard has the line; “you tied a string around my heart…”, and I can’t help but put the string around a different body part.
“…and what makes my head go 'round and 'round while my neck stands still?”
A Dutch Romani woman no less. Mariska Vereš, glory of The Hague. Unfortunately long gone already.
In The Lion Sleeps Tonight, instead of “a-weemah-weh, a-weemah-weh” I sing “A weiner whack, a weiner whack…”
The decision to sing that song is just a whim away.
Original: If you like pina coladas…
Bro sings: If you like penis colossus…
Original: The love shack is a little old place where we can get together.
Changed: The nut sack is a little old place where we can get together.
Original: Drove my Chevy to the levee
Changed: Drove my Ford to the fjord
Every time I go over the bridge: ‘Nooksack, baby!’
What a friend we have in cheeses
Helps me keep my shit together
It’s also fun to replace “Jesus” with the Hispanic name pronounced HEY-suss.
A favorite of my children in their pre-teen years:
"Love is a nose
And you’d better not pick it
After seeing the discussion of Hotel California in another thread, I’ve decided to keep singing the verse as, “Her mind was differently twisted, she got the Mercedes Benz…”
The middle of the road is trying to find me
I’m standing in the middle of life with my plans pants behind me
Almost heaven West Virginia her vagina…
Try, try, try to understand…he’s a magic bastard man
Original: Besame mucho
Revised: Besame culo mucho
“In Your Eyes” by Peter Gabriel. I just change “eyes” to “thighs” and the song takes on a whole different tone.
I always hear it that way, too!
I wonder if Ms Hynde ever mis-sings it?
Me too 
! It’s one of my favorite songs of all, at least my favorite Pretenders song, and I’ve always heard “pants”.
I think it’s a better line if you have no pants…it’s like Walter White in Breaking Bad. A quick google shows his tighty whiteys were highly coveted.
Another “pants” singer… 