I had fun at Machete Kills. I suppose I’m disposed to think the ‘70s grind house imitation technique, set in Rodriguez’ Mexicanized comic book world, is funny.
Machete, played by Danny Trejo, is basically a Superman kind of hero. He has a direct line to the POTUS, who sends him on missions, reluctantly agreed to on the promise of instant citizenship and a presidential pardon of his extensive criminal record. It is said that “Machete doesn’t die”, and while you just don’t believe it, the dude takes a tremendous beating without seeming fazed for long. Let’s see, he is hung by his neck- he just hangs there angrily staring until the POTUS calls the corrupt border police murderers and tells them to put Machete on the phone. He gets shot point-blank by several semi-automatics, which leads to his capture, sure, but relax, Machete is fine. He rides a nuclear missile Dr. Strangelove-style and just ditches the thing in a pond and hops off, thanks to the obvious strategy of cutting the blue wire with his omnipresent machete.
Machete says, “Machete doesn’t tweet”, but when it is one of the slutty glamour girls with the Machiavellian moral compass tweeting him, sure, he’ll text back. So the joke is Machete is a Mexican James Bond, the cell phone is a high tech piece of equipment lent him by his ostensible helper, Miss Texas (formerly Miss San Antonio, apparently she is humping and murdering her way to Miss America. Unlike the randy James Bond, Machete only bangs this one chick this episode, and mostly because she insists), and this is about as much character growth as we’ll see. Machete doesn’t need it- they already literally sing his praises throughout Mexico (in fact, one character claims Machete is Mexico). The relentless use of jokes based on negative cliches or prejudices about Mexicans is shakily funny- the movie is purposefully '70s bad like that, and Rodriguez (I guess) knows what he is doing with it. Machete himself couldn’t care less, since he overcomes anything and everything.
The movie is perfectly comfortable being a movie- the impossible happens over and over again. The villain, played by Mel Gibson, can usually read the future, but apparently things get cloudy when Machete and his zenlike attitude are around. Charlie Sheen plays Mr. President- a tequila-shooting, insulting, crooked-deal making kind of guy with 3 or 4 sleeping glamour girls in his bed when he gets that 3 AM call. The first installment, Machete, seemed to be a social commentary or satire masquerading as a '70s grindhouse movie. This one didn’t seem to have much of an overt message, unless it is that an audience can almost take the corrupt, lawless, Mexicanized setting for granted.
Machete doesn’t exactly get his man this time- no, the bad guy escapes in his rocket to space right as Machete spoils his plans to start a global nuclear war (the reason Machete’s gang agreed to help at all is because, hey, no world, no Mexico). It’s a commercial for the trequel: Machete Kills Again, In Space. I’m not kidding, the 3rd implausible movie in this series involves Machete in a space suit or fighting bad guys with a machete that has a huge resemblance to a light sabre. The whole movie starts with a super-scratchy '70s style trailer for the next sequel that you can’t at first believe is for real. Machete Kills, In Space? C’mon! Elon Musk even has a cameo where he shakes Machete’s hand and wishes him success before launching Machete into space in a Space X rocket as the movie ends. I soooo can’t wait 
