Mad hippies and their Border Collies at the dog park

The BBQ Pit
1

Hey, if you have long hippie hair, listen to Phish, and/or wear Birkenstocks, cool. No problem.

If you have an Border Collie or Australian Shepherd that’s absolutely fanatic when it comes to catching flying discs, again no problem. I wish my dog was that coordinated.

If you’re one of those Deadheads and you have a single-minded Australian Shepherd or Border Collie, great.

However … don’t expect to go to a public dog park, a place where responsible dog owners let their pooches socialize, romp, and run off-leash, and expect our happy, fun-loving dogs to leave you and your Frisbee-catchin’-over-and-over-and-over-and-over-and-over-and-over again Border Collie alone. Ain’t gonna’ happen. Unlike your single-minded breed, our dogs are social creatures, wanting to sniff butt and play. They see a Frisbee go airborne, one f their canine bretherin chasing after it, and they wanna’ go for it, too. It’s what most dogs do.

Knowing that dogs are social pack animals, why is it that all you patchouli-wearin’ Border Collie owners always get mad at the rest of us when one of our mutts, a canine that isn’t an uber-jock like yours, runs up and wants to play catch too?

“Dude, could you back off your dog? We’re training …”

“Dude, get your dog out of here …”

“Hey, man, your dog is distracting mine …”

Look, you have the same right to be at that dog park as the rest of us. However, you have no right to get angry at us for having friendly dogs, and no right to be left alone – the intent of a dog park is to allow dogs and their owners to socialize. Your antisocial ass is taking up a disproportionately large amount of real estate with your antisocial flying disc catchin’ hound, and you have absolutely no right to be rude to the owners of other pups that happen to find themselves under the flight path of your Border Collie’s oh-so sacred fuckin’ Wham-O.

The Unabomber wanted to be left alone, so he headed out to Montana – he didn’t try to get into a co-op in Manhattan. You want to play catch with your dog in peace? Find an empty field somewhere beyond the range of the local animal control agency – don’t go to a place where there’s 40 or 50 purebreds and mutts burning off Iams off-leash. If you want to be social, go to a .moe concert or come and join the rest of us.

2

The problem is that Border Collies are uberdogs.

Imagine if your kid was a golden child, a genius compared to all others, and far superior physically to all other children (kind of like my kid.)

So, you’re hanging around with your superchild discussing quantum physics, and performing one handed handstand pushups, and all of a sudden this snot nosed puke of a kid walks up picking his nose, and pronounces loudly “I like Elmo!”

Let’s face it, the best response would be “That’s nice. Run along now.” It ain’t elitism, it’s simply that the rest of the canine world isn’t even in the same class with the Border Collie (there is one exception.)

The sooner the rest of you dog owners bow down before the ethical, intellectual, moral, and physical superiority of the B.C. the better it will be for everybody.

BTW. Many Border Collies can practice in the same spot. They are smart enough that they only chase their frisbee. I realize it’s unkind to be prejudiced based on the limited intellectual gifts of other breeds. But, it is your problem. You need to be able to control your dog all the time. Even, and especially in a social setting like a dog park. That’s simply responsible ownership.

3

As everyone knows, Hippies are universally insensitive louts worthy of approbrium scorn and contempt, so perhaps there is something to what you say.

I am distressed by your reports that this noble breed could ever be owned by such defectives. It saddens me.

I prayed that it could not be true, and now that I think about it, I’m sure it’s not.

Clearly the hippies don’t own the dogs. Surely it’s the other way around, and free and responsible border collies have taken ownership of hippies in order that they will have somebody to throw their frisbees. Really though, you can’t blame the dogs for their stupid hippies, can you?

4

Scylla

My Border Collie just read your comment and not only did he find it amusing, but he concurs.

He would also like to know when they are going to make keyboards a little more paw friendly.

He wanted me to tell you that he would have typed this himself, but not only is there the aforementioned keyboard problem, but he’s also a bit busy bringing the wiring in the house up to code.

5

Perhaps,Scylla, you have been under the mistaken impression for some time now that humans own border collies. It’s the other way around. Always has been. The Border collies training hippies to throw frisbees are the slacker border collies. I’m not sure what mine is training me to do but it involves a lot of petting and being licked about the face.
b.

6

Keyboard? My Portie is looking for a chording keyboard that can accomodate her webbed paws.

7

Type? If my border collie had fingers and thumbs, he wouldn’t waste time typing. He’d steal my keys, fire up my car, and zoom off for a state-wide joyride. (He will also catch Frisbees, and will firmly ignore any dog who attempts to interupt him while he is engaged in this activity.)

I read the OP to him. He heaved a sigh and closed his eyes. Told you he was smart.

8

My cat’s breath smells like cat food!

9

Ahem. Intellectual? Pretty much. Physical? Probably. Ethical and moral? Beg to differ. Those are spread around.

And for pure heart, you just can’t beat a Golden.

How many Golden Retrievers does it take to change a lightbulb?
The day is young, the sun is shining, we’ve got our whole lives ahead of us, and you’re worried about light bulbs?

As to the OP:
I understand your position, but since Maggie is as much of a ball freak as any BC is with their frisbee, I also understand the hippie’s position. In the end, it really is each person’s responsibility to make sure that their dog is not being too intrustive, either by crowding out a BC chasing a frisbee, or by being a BC getting in everyone’s way playing with the frisbee. It’s a delicate balance. And the park is NOT necessarily for dogs to socialize, it’s also for people that don’t have football fields for yards but have dogs that need them.

stoid

10

Yes, moral and ethical. BC’s have a can-do, pragmatic atittude. They’re interested in results, but they know that in the end the larger values of good and evil are mere ephemera, sand through the paws. A Will O Wisp that can never be caught. They know that style is everything.

Yes, a Golden Retreiver is a fine, fine dog, and they can catch a ball with boundless enthusiasm, but only a Border Collie can turn it into an art form.

Border Collies are only equalled by the tragically great breed The Irish Wolfhound.

11

Collies shmollies!
What you need is a good CAT!

12

Ok, I think we all need to remember one thing.
THEY’RE ALL DOGS! Some are smarter than others, regardless of breed. (as a former vet tech this is my semi-profesional opinion)
One of my dogs is a border collie mix. Ask him were his ball is and he’ll find it. As soon as he sees me putting on my Camelback, he knows I’m leaving and heads straight to his room.(I have a spare, so the dogs are a little spoiled)
He sees me picking stuff up off the floor and he runs to the closet to commence barking at the vacum cleaner. Pretty smart? No, he’s a moron. He’s going to be 8 this year, and he still hasn’t figured out that the vacuum is not the anti-Christ, no matter how many times I’ve played the Jane’s Addiction song ‘been caught stealing’, he still runs around the house looking for the other dogs. We’ve lived in the same bldg for 3 years. We use the elevator at least 6 times a day. He STILL hasn’t grasped the fact that there is no need to go flying in/out of the elevator barking his idiot head off and scaring other people to death.

Takes all kinds. (course, I still think he’s the smartest dog ever, but that’s a mom for you.)

13

My Mutt can beat up your Border Collie! :smiley:

14

and as far as cats, love 'em, but I have to wait until the hypo allergenic version comes out. (why do you think I’m not a vet tech anymore? I’m sorry Mrs. Jones but Fluffy died during a routine dental, because I sneezed and shoved the endotracheal tube through her trachea. Whoops!

I just could bring myself to risk that sort of thing.

15

sniff

Goldens!

As well as realizing my inherent deserving of a pair of Bengals, when I marry my sencitive rich guy he will, of course, deliver to me a wiggly, happy, dumb as a rock, worhipful Golden puppy.
And he’ll have big brown eyes and a willing smile. The puppy. The rich guy can look like whatever he wants as long as he’s funny.

Cats are supposed to be graceful and aristocratic. Partly so you can giggle at them when they trip up.

Dogs are a cat’s foil. They are supposed to be big, happy, stupid, and drooling in worshiping your every move.

Truly together peopel can handle both. A bit of humility and a bit of worship. It’s good to be a cat’s underling, a dog’s god, and sleep in the sun a bit with both.

16

An uber-dog requires an uber-owner. I can understand. This super-dog is all worked up and undisclipined, stirring everything up. The owner needs to take better control.

Now my story. I dated a girl who had a shi-tsu, and her neighbor had some “throw me the ball” hyper dog who tilted his head when he looked at you. I would run them on skates. The Shi-Tsu would haul ass off. Any direction I commanded him. Mr. Border Collie wanna be would reluctantly run. Then lament about his ball at home, then try to slow the Shi-tsu down by catching up and herdin him to the side. Then “Elmo,” his real name, would get excited and start humping the Shi-tsu.

The shi-tsu appreciated the skate more.

17

Yeah, we have to spell out B-A-L-L in my house or our pitbull and Rottie both go nuts. And I can’t open the drawer that we keep the leashes in without both our dogs coming over to be taken outside. Even if they’re asleep.
I think my pit is a match for any border collie in physical endurance and overall athleticism, but not nearly as smart and unfortunately very game towards other male dogs, so I haven’t taken him to the off-leash parks since he was 9 months old. (Ye Gods, that was a long sentence).
The Rottie is a genius, the problem is that she knows it. Example: when I give my APBT a command, he wants to know how to do it. When I give the Rottie a command, she wants to know why she should do it. I gotta admit, though, that the border collie is the overall Uberhund. I think they deserve a better handler than the average dirty hippie.

18

The majestic St. Bernard puts all your mutts to shame. Play your little doggie games, with your frisbees and balls. The St. Bernard will lie by his owner, unbidden, raising his head to see what all the ruckus is about. When he spies the so-called “dogs” prancing about, playing with plastic and rubber, he becomes satisfied that it is nothing of which a dog worthy of the name would partake of.

And he goes back to his silent guard. [sub]With his eyes closed.[/sub]

We can’t even spell b-o-n-e anymore, let alone mention the word or spelling of w-a-l-k, or anything suggesting we’re leaving the house, such as putting on shoes or asking “ready to go?”.

At least, Scylla, we can agree that the Irish Wolfhound is the second-best dog around.

19

Miss Creant

It already is and it’s called a Pharaoh cat. It’s hairless so either you must live in a warm climate or keep the temp up. (No hair means a cold baby!)

20

Sadly, it has nothing to do with the hair otherwise I would have gotten a Rex by now. It’s the dander (dead skin) that kills me. I need one of those franken kitties that they’re
(whoever ‘they’ are) working on to alter the DNA or something so the cat doesn’t produce the antigen.