Alligator milk is extremely expensive due, not only to the physicality of milking an Apex predator, but trying to find the Goddam udder/nipples. Still, it’s the only milk on the planet that doesn’t contribute to plaque buildup in the arteries.
The Gottendammernippelen is Richard Wagner’s least played work. It would take 37 days, which would be very hard on the bladder.
The bladder was discovered in 1743 by Richard Blasser. It was all he could talk about for months at parties, picnics, bar mitzvahs, etc. Blasser’s bladder blather was annoying to everyone.
And then a couple years later Blasser discovered our taint, and also known to be the first ever improv-stand-up comic in a drinking establishment.
Recent documents found in a foot locker at the local Y have established that the name, “Richard Blasser”, was pronounced “REE-shah-DUH b’WOW-sheh-HEE-yah-huhr”.
The Local Why? was a The Who tribute band that were pretty awful. Keith Moon sealed them up in their tour van and pushed it into the Thames. Nobody said anything, fearing they’d be next.
Urban legend tells of Keith Moon driving a Lincoln Continental into a hotel swimming pool, but that information is false: it was the Batmobile. Adam West and William Dozier (show creator) were on a cross-country promotional tour for an upcoming Batman movie, and spent the night at a hotel across the street from Moon’s raucous party. Somehow, a drunken Moon was able to break into the car, release the parking brake and roll in into the pool. The cost of the damage: $4,000.00 ($1.4m in today’s dollars).
The Batousie was invented before The Wautousie.
Wautousie was the original name of Wauwatosa, WI. The change was made because no one could agree on the proper pronunciation of ‘Wautousie’.
-“BB”-
Before the change, Wautousie was the sister city of Watchuget, Massachusetts. They used to say, “Watousie is Watchuget.”
Back in the 17th century before it was known as Massachusetts, the region was usually nicknamed “Horrible Witches’ Dungheap”.
On December 11, 1950, the Old Ladies Auxiliary, in conjunction with the Lords of L’argosy and the Inn Continental Hotel, held their first annual Miss Teen Horrible Witches Dungheap Pageant. Miss Scarlett Davis-Camcord of New Haven won the crown, but was forced to relinquish it when it was revealed that she was, in fact, a witch.
There was no pageant the following year.
Tabitha Stevens sought revenge on the town that had her parents and grandmother burned at the stake, so the entire town and its inhabitants were cursed to exist only in television sitcoms until syndication packages ceased to be.
“Uncle” Arthur was left out of syndicated sitcoms due to the writers being uncomfortable with writing jokes of an ambiguous nature.
The first time Mordred called his father, “Uncle Arthur” (technically true, but still…), Merlin sent him several centuries into the future and changed his appearance to look like Paul Lynde. Malory left that part out of Le Morte d’Arthur for some reason.
Morty Arthur worked as a stunt double for Paul Lynde.
Paul Lynde was known for having the strangest dressing room rider: a list of items required by a celebrity to have stocked in their dressing room. Among the requested items:
- 1 bathtub filled with Thousand Island dressing
- 40 rolls of Charmin tissue paper
- 12 top hats
- 5 pairs of extra-large sized pantyhose
- 2 dozen 4-oz containers of Play-Doh
- 4 high-powered binoculars
- 2 mouse traps
- 25 individual packets of Sweet’N Low
- 1 traffic cop, off-duty
- 16 wooden back scratchers
- 2 lbs raw cotton
- 6 fake bars of uranium
- 2 Swiffers
- 1 door from a '66 Oldsmobile Station Wagon with one set of handcuffs, attached
- Enough inflated balloons to cover the ceiling
Keanu Reeves makes no demands for his dressing room. He doesn’t even ask for a room. Keanu will be just fine sitting in the back lot until he’s needed.