There are a few used "No, Norbert, not the umbrella!"s still available on e-bay if you do not mind the price and the less than enthusiastic responses from an already heard joke. And unfortunately the only half-way reasonably affordable second-hand NNNTU for sale currently is missing the exclamation mark entirely.
E-bay’s original mission statement promised they would not allow trade in punchlines, new
or used. Otherwise i would sell my NNNTU - including the !
Randolph Mantooth, former teen idol and now an e-Dot marketeer with middlin’ fair success, says the next (or nearly next, maybe nearly nearly next) big run on lines will be on puns on the word “Oahu”. So, how 'bout a nice Hawaiian punch?
I’m hoping to help delay the onrush of Oahu puns, so let me note that our doom is not yet sealed; the best-planned leis of mice and men gang aft aglay.
Second-hand “best planned leis” are still available according to the appraisers at Linguistic Roadshow. There is a surprising current run on Oahu puns, probably because they were shorted by investors like Quondam_Mechanic. There indeed are, alas, those who seemingly want to reap a few bucks when some else’s joke fails. This has irked amateur comedians and thus the backlash, but the savvy investor is looking for the next big thing, not tired literary gaming. Those Oahu puns will be worthless in a few weeks so beware. And the odds of the punchline in your closet having the mint value of an original “take my wife… please” as opposed to a cheap imitation “take my wi-fi… please” are not good, experts warn.
When Hawaii became a state in 1959, they were looking forward to keeping the apostrophe (actually a glottal stop) in their name, but the head of the U.S. Board On Geographic Names at the time had a summer home on Martha’s Vineyard and nixed it. No one knows why.
Hawa’i’i never became a state. That was a crafty trick pulled by Slick Dick when he was Ike’s Veep. All of the supposed state taxes and other monetary increments have been silently funneled into an off-shore account where Richard (he never died, you know) supports himself in an embarrassing wealthy manner. Oh, and he’s now a blond woman named Marilyn, for some reason.
Slick Dick was the stage name Little Richard was going to use until cooler heads prevailed.
The Cooler Heads, an early-60’s rock group, invited Little Richard to sit in with them, but he never did, apparently concluding from their name that they were an ex-con stoner group. He figured he had enough issues with more conservative fans as it was.
Pat Boone joined The Cooler Heads for a week in February, 1964. He decided they were too fly-jive for him.
Pat Boone’s enduring popularity in much of rural America led to those areas being nicknamed “the boonies.”
Just as Orson Bean’s enduring popularity in Boston led to that city being nicknamed “the beanies”.
The rock group Boston actually came from Alabama and the country group Alabama came from Boston.
Chicago came from Boston by way of Alabama. You can tell this from cleverly hidden messages recorded backwards in 25 or 6 to 4, a song about time travel in the Appalachias.
Panamanian rock music is required to have cleverly hidden backwards messages, but these hidden messages must also be spoken directly in the original lyrics!
The Van Halen 1984 hit Panama actually contains hidden backwards messages about Paraguay.
Van Halen’s album Vanilla, when played backwards, is a tribute to Glenn Miller & His Orchestra.
Every one of Pat Boone’s records sounds exactly the same when played backwards, except for his cover of Little Richard’s “Tutti Frutti” – when that record is played backwards, it sounds like John Philip Sousa’s “The Liberty Bell,” which is better known as the theme to Monty Python’s Flying Circus.
Montgomery Jacques-Pierre Solomon Testosterone Python, III, was the first man to visit the East Pole, and the second man to climb Mt. Everest from the inside.
As of now, Montgomery Pepperwinkle is the first person to go over Niagara Falls in a time machine. In 2046 we should know if he made it safely.