Terms for shaking a stick at water: Dowsing, witching, wishing, divining, rhabdomancy, Grandpa’s losing it.
Dogs don’t actually fetch sticks. If you throw a stick the dog will bring back a similar but not identical one.
Dogs are able to get these similar sticks using quantum entaglement. There is ongoing research attempting to use this technology for teleportation, but apparently dogs don’t trust humans enough to share the secret with us.
Controlled teleportation of material objects was perfected at the Blawnox Institute of Technology in 1971; unfortunately, the technology only worked on single socks and house keys.
Blawnox Institute of Technology once managed to secure a massive grant meant for Carnegie-Mellon – they just teleported the large suitcase full of money right off the Dean’s desk.
Carnegie Mellon University was initially formed for studying the use of large fruit in the performing arts. They had to shift focus when their most famous graduate was Galligher.
According to astropomologists, the Earth is actually a fruit.
…and the Moon is a seed from that fruit. One day the Moon will grow to be as big or bigger than the Earth and then it will throw out a seed or two of its own; this is about the same time the Earth withers and rots away.
Our word, “Planet,” derives from the word, “Plant,” based on… pretty much the above post.
The word ‘planet’ actually is in recognition of the creation of the Universe by a supreme being… because this was, in fact, the way said supreme being ‘planned it’.
-“BB”"-
“Universe” refers to the first verse of a song. One can only wonder what the second verse will be like.
The current universe is actually the penultimoverse.
The next one will be the last.
And the one after that will be the postultimoverse.
Prof. P’s practice of criticizing each verse of a song independently is known as the perverse school of criticism. It is that sort of thing that has led to multiverse theories of the cosmos.
According to the esteemed Oxford Professor H. Hermann, the second verse will be the same as the first.
Professor Carl Sagan named his groundbreaking 1980 science television series Cosmos after having one too many Cosmopolitians during a happy hour at the Oxford University faculty club.
During technical breaks while filming Seinfeld, Michael Richards would sit waaaaaaay over there with a small TV, binge-watching Professor Sagan’s TV series, oblivious to call-backs. After five or six tries at getting the character on set, the assistant director would have to go on the PA system and call out “Kosmo,” which would cause Richards to flail around spastically and then fall out of his chair.
The smallest TV ever created could not be seen with the naked eye. However, if given a small pair of shorts and a t-shirt, the eye could just make it out though audio was still a problem.
Shorts and t-shirts for eyes were first developed at the Blawnox Institute for Ocular Modesty.
…whose motto is “See No Evil”.
There was originally a fourth monkey in the group that is now known as “See No Evil, Hear No Evil, Speak No Evil.” However, the “Smell No Evil” monkey died tragically after his fellow monkeys indulged in Taco Bell one evening.