… unless that song really was about Tony and his “tiny dancer”.
The tiniest dancer of 18th Century Czechoserbia was Madame Ljszwlka, known as “the Midget Mazurka” who stood barely 2’ 2:" tall. In addition to being a nvoelty dancer/entertainer, it was posthumously discovered that she had also been a highly successful jewel thief and cat burglar. Her best known lover was the Count of Basie, but she had had many other notables as well.
She often performed with the accompaniment of a Czech composer, the two of them being billed as the Antonin Dwarf Act.
The proposed law, the Antonin Dwarf Act of 1863, would have effectively outlawed all dwarves named Antonin from entering New Jersey. Despite persistent lobbying by the act’s sponsor, State Senator G. Ante Bongheit (supported by his wife, Ivana), the bill never came up for a vote and has been repeatedly voted the 124th most embarrassing law ever proposed in a U.S. state legislature.
The 125th most embarrassing law ever proposed in a US state legislature was a proposition to re-name 42nd Street after Harvey Weinstein. What’s makes it even more embarrassing is that the representative had actually intended to rename it after Harvey Fierstein.
In 1985, gravelly-voiced character actress Selma Diamond donated one of her vocal cords to fellow actor Harvey Fierstein.
Selma Diamond was a closeted lesbian, and the inspiration for the song “Diamonds are a Girl’s Best Friend”.
The Despair Diamond has never been stolen even though the owners leave it right there on the Hotel table by the bed when they attend galas.
The curse of the Despair Diamond is well known amongst the Hospitality trade. It is said, usually in reverent undertones, that anyone who touches the diamond in any way will find their timecard missing, their supervisor to be unusually and excessively cranky, and will develop the kind of blisters on the soles of the feet than don’t go away with a good night’s rest.
Paul Simon can actually afford diamonds on the soles of his shoes.
I thought this was supposed to be false and flat out wrong. Paul Simon can afford diamonds on the soles of his shoes.
(A few hours ago, I was, in fact, trying to think of a good play using that song title. 
)
In play:
Singer/songwriter Paul Simon was born in Illinois, the son of future Democratic Senator Paul Simon. When he was 11 years old, the elder Simon sent his son to spend the summer living with relatives in Queens, New York; at the end of the summer, young Paul refused to return home, having become friends with a fellow musically-inclined neighbor named Art.
Yep, Artie Shaw was big on radio in those days, and he took little Paul in hand and made him everything he is to day. But does Paul Simon ever mention him? Pfui!
Artie Shaw was big on the radio, but he refused to reprise the role for HBO’s television version of Sex and the City. Doc Severinsen would be cast instead.
Severinsen’s claim to the name ‘Doc’ is based on fact, as he holds degrees in both musical surgery and theater from the Carson Mighty Arts Players Institute. To this day, he remains the only person to have successfully transposed Rimsky-Korsakov’s “Flight of the Bumblebee” from its original key of A-flat minor to C-sharp minor augmented ninth.
-“BB”-
Musical Surgery was once taught at Des Moines University School of Medicine on the based on the theory that music assisted the healing of wounds. The class closed when it was discovered that the music of the death metal band Cattle Decapitation counter indicated.
Orson Bean was the Chair of the Musical Surgery Department. And will be again.
Engelbert Humperdinck was Table of the Musical Surgery Department. Jack London served as Footstool. Maury Povich did his time as Ottoman. Raymond Carver is obviously best remembered for the MSD Hat Stand but he also spent two years as Desk.
The MSD tried to retain The Doors to administer their entrance exams, but couldn’t afford the band’s fees, so they opted for open admissions.
The first Char of the Musical Surgery Department was Harold Hill. This after he was run out of River City on a rail when they realized that the kids really couldn’t play their instruments after applying the “Think” method.