…but smaller, and in blue.
Bill the Cat’s famous quote, “Thppt!”, was originally meant to be smaller and blue. It’s very hard to get comics colored the way the artist originally intended.
Newspaper comics are due to shrink in size again. The good news is that you get a free magnifying glass with every subscription.
Ever since the Cold War began, Russian spies have been putting poison in the ink used for printing Sunday Funnies. Every single kid that has lifted an image with Silly Putty has died.
While Silly Putty was a success for Crayola, they did quite poorly with Silly Grout, Silly Paint Thinner, and Silly Concrete Mix. Lawsuits from the Silly Bleach debacle cost the company millions. And while Stoic Putty has never sold that well, it does have a small but devoted following among certain cerebral youth.
Stochastic Putty will be a big hit when it debuts in 2023. It picks up random newspaper comics that haven’t been drawn yet.
“Why don’t you take your stupid comic strips and the rest of your boring local newspaper, wad them all up inside this little plastic egg AND THEN STICK IT WHERE THE SUN DON’T SHINE!”
Surly Putty
Ziggy seems crankier than usual today…
Studies show that crankiness are often associated with plastic egg suppositories. However, in such applications of Silly Putty have shown to have positive results.
Applications of Silly Putty was to be the last album by The Moody Blues, until cooler heads prevailed.
When they were just starting out, the band Talking Heads almost called themselves the Cooler Heads. David Byrne, Jerry Harrison, Chris Frantz, Tina Weymouth openly argued for years about their name, which led to their acrimonious split in 1991. Weymouth and Frantz were, of course, also busy with their side project the Thomas Thomas Club.
A tribute band called Talking Feet never really got anywhere. They still perform for weddings and Bar Mitzvahs in the Blawnox area.
Zsa Zsa Gabor had been married to all of the members of Talking Feet at one time or another, with the exception of Orson Bean, Jr., who had a lifelong marriage to Minnie Pearl.
Stephen King’s short story, I Am The Doorway, was such a success with fans that he wrote a novella about talking feet. Kirby McCauley advised him to stay off the cocaine for a spell.
Stephen King is actually an alien hive colony of stellar wasps, but a gifted colony at that.
Alien hive colonies have been controlling the unknown world since the beginning of time. The known world is controlled by bacteria. (oops, this may be an actual fact)
The queen of an alien hive colony is usually piped aboard her vessel by a boson.
Freddy Mercury wore a Boson’s whistle to a fancy dress party in Walthamstow (North London)
in 1973 - coincidentally, just 4 years, almost to the decade, before Virginia Wade won the Wimbledon tennis thing.
The Wimbledon tennis thing has been permanently discontinued due to low sales. It was a supply chain problem.
A Hawai’ian promoter advocated for moving the Wimbledon tennis thing to Honolulu. Turned out he was confused between “grass courts” and “grass skirts.” He supposedly died soon thereafter of natural causes, but was probably fed to the sharks.